Firstly I would like to acknowledge you for being a really great Mom. You’ve always been there for me. I wanted to acknowledge some of the specific things you’ve helped me with over the years.
1. I will just say “Medical Stuff.”
I imagine you have done more paper work than I even know about and researched all about mental illness. You’ve probably put in more work than I ever asked and never got thanked for it. Perhaps my being healthy now is thanks enough for you but still….I wanted to acknowledge this.
You have been very patient with me. You have put in a lot of time and I recognize that sometimes things got pretty difficult. When I was close to hospitalization it was probably very tough for you because its like asking you to put your whole life on hold to attend to me. I’m sorry for that and I’m also grateful.
3. Help in the form of monetary support (car repairs, new bed, etc).
I have no idea how much money you have given me since I was about 20. Please don’t even tell me the number. I think as a man I am still angry that I wasn’t able to support myself during the time when I was sick. It angers me that I put you in that position to have to choose. I imagine at the time you probably felt angry yourself that you were my sole “care-giver”. Frankly I don’t think words really cut it here. I think getting an education is the best thing I can do to remedy this part of our relationship which was broken. I think things are getting a lot better now, but you still deserve the recognition for being strong for me when I couldn’t be…
4. You have given me a lot of your time.
I’m not that difficult to read I think. You probably realize I feel a twinge a guilt to think of all the time we’ve talked on the phone. I still wonder to myself things like “is it too much I’m asking of Mom”….”Does Mom hate this and is she just not telling me”. Basically I worry that I am hurting you. Hopefully I am not. Thank you for many enjoyable conversations and thank you for listening.
5. Keeping your word.
You have always been a woman of immense integrity. I admire you greatly. All this acknowledging really comes from you promising to “always be there for me”. I have a distinct memory of demanding this of you when I was very young. I tell you out of love for you Mom…because I want you to be happy and have a balanced life. You don’t always have to be there for me anymore. I will be ok. I am strong and I am succeeding at one of the best schools in the country. So much credit goes to you. One day I hope I can contribute to your life in some kind of meaningful way as you have to mine. Thank you. I love you Mom.
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