Hi I’m Karen I have been struggling, Battling, fighting to Survive this unwanted disease. Many times I say I would rather have something else that you really can see because then people would really believe me. I feel like when I’m around the so called Normal People I need to run and hide myself. Which I end up doing when the switch in my brain breaks.
At times it takes such hold of me I want to just check out really so then the suicidal thoughts come in and that is all I can think of 24 hours a day. I begin to cover my feeling with eating constantly then that doesn’t work so then the next step. I start to pick my cuticle and peel my skin away causing such horrible pain. My fingers begin to throb and I continue to peel. I guess it takes my thoughts away from what I’m feeling deep inside. I want my emotional pain to go away. I then think what happened to me everyone has issues why can’t I control this. But I can’t so since I can’t control it let me please leave this hell I’m living in. I then lose my will to live or did I ever have the will to live.
I today came to one of the NAMI groups and felt a sense of peace I am not alone thank you God for these people that can relate to me.
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