My story started in my childhood days when I always felt and needed to be love by others. My family always loved and protected to me. They gave me an unconditional and unending love that help me. They were overprotecting me, along with controlling my emotions which they thought they were doing their best as parents to protect me from any harm. During my teens, I had dealt with anxiety and low self esteem, not feeling worthy and not feeling attractive in my physical appearance.
There was moments of my teen life, that I overcome a little of my shyness by writing poetry,joining the booster club in high school, and working in an office job. In my early twenties, I met people at a church/bible study along with my husband. With meeting people at a great place such as church gave me encouragement. It helped me to help others with needs that were either similar to mine or other issues. At twenty six years old, my husband and I married and started our lives together and learned all aspects of each others’ characteristics,habits,etc.
Along the way, my husband has been my best friend and best supporter with my anxiety/depressive disorder. He was always been patient and loving to my condition. Through my thirties, it was a happy time. With a new job at a local retail store working with people and helping them with their needs. It was a store that offer shipping and mailing services. I helped all people from all different backgrounds such as teachers,accountants,clergymen,stay-at-home moms,actors,singers,sportsmen, among many others.
During my later thirties, I had suffer two majors losses in 2003. My father-in-law and my mother had passed away in one month’s time. It was a very low time in my life. Knowing and believing in my heart that these two very important and special people to my husband and me were at peace and in God’s heaven. i did mourn for them and always keep them in my heart for the last ten years and will always be in my heart. Only a few weeks after they pass, i had major surgery, Undergoing a partial hysterectomy, I found myself in the hospital recovering with my husband,my father, and my brother by my side.
Also, receiving a phone call from my sister and my niece asking how i was feeling. Receiving support from my family was great. Mentioning to my sister, I was missing our mom and she had said she is there with you in spirit. Little did I know at the time, I would be caring for my father for the next couple of years before he passed away in May 2006. He was suffering from dementia along with hardening of the arteries. He had passed only twelve days after my 40th birthday. It left a feeling of emptiness in my soul and I had suffer a major panic attack three weeks after he pass while i was driving my car. Also, he was not there to be his granddaughter’s night school graduation. Wishing he would be around for her special day, it was never to be but it gave all of our family a peace that he was in God’s home with our mom and their love and spirit were with us.
Along with the way, my husband and I experience loss with other siblings and friends due to cancer and age-related diseases. As a family, we encourage each other to remember our loved ones by keeping photographs,videos,special jewelry,and telling wonderful stories about them. It keeps their memory alive in our souls.
Now at the age of 47, I wanted to tell my life and my journey dealing with depression and anxiety that anyone who reads it that no matter what life throws at you, you will endure and persevere and overcome all obstacles with help from physicians,support groups,friends, and family. Also, if you support and encourage and love others with your talents and gifts which everyone has them, you will feel a sense of worth and love. Most of all, you will always be loved by God because he loved and created you first for Him. Laugh, live,and love! God bless