For years I didn’t know. I just thought everyone carried that kind of pain and fear with them.
Then, when I was 12, my mom explained it. Why we had the stupid little plastic Christmas Tree. My dad had spent two years in a mental hospital before I was born, he was manic depressive.
It. It, had a name.
Age 15. Mom. Dad. HELP ME!!!
If you think I want to die will you help me?
Yes, go see a psychologist, take your meds, BE STRONG, get your education. We are sorry but that is all we can give because your diagnosis now means your dad can no longer deny his illness.
18th Birthday, Start college, graduate before my 21st. New p-doc.
My mind is going. I cannot stop it.
Get married.New p-doc.
I am disappearing. My mind is swallowing me.
Quit one job. Fired from another. Unemployment. New p-doc.
My mind is out of control. I am gone again.
Pregnant. New WONDERFUL p-doc.
I can come back. Uh, this might take some time.
Raising a high functioning autistic son who is incredible (put a computer in front of him).
Applying for a masters.
You just have to be in it for the long fight.