I know what it feels like to feel alone, unloved, worthless, and like no one cares at all. I know what it feels like to have everyone around you telling you you’re crazy, when you’re not. I know what it’s like.
Throughout my eighth grade year I struggled with cutting and depression. People told me that whenever they saw me they wanted to kill themselves. It even got to the point where I attempted suicide. I woke up on the ground with the pole, which I had hung myself from, broken on my back.
Things seemed okay for a while until I started high school. I lost all my friends, for some no reason at all and for others because of lies. People said awful things to my face and over the internet. There was a rumor I was pregnant and people said if it were a girl they would start bidding’s for who would buy it so they could kill it because they certainly didn’t need another Madison.
I was alone. I walked alone. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I cut until I couldn’t feel anymore.
I was so hurt, that it wasn’t even possible to feel any more hurt. I got to the point where I couldn’t care any less whether I lived or died. I walked but I wasn’t really living. I was breathing but not really living. I would talk but I wasn’t living. I was broken to pieces. I thought I could never be rebuilt.
Thankfully, today I’m not in that place anymore. I got out and I rebuilt myself. Yes, I still may relapse here and there but I most definitely have grown and saved me from myself.
If you are in this place now, or know someone who is, I am now LIVING proof that you too can grow and save yourself. You can make it through. You just need to take a step back and realize that you are human. You need to live for something - live for yourself.