In Feb. of this year I noticed my son talking aloud to nobody. I watched him for a while and then I asked him, “Who are you talking to?” he said, “nobody mom.” I said okay. I left it at that for about a month. Then during the first week of March he was always talking and walking in circles in our yard. I asked him again who he was talking to and he said, “Well, the voices in my head mom.” his tone was like I should have known that already. Around March 5 or 6 of this year he came to me and said he was thinking about dying. So the next day I called the insurance and got a list of Psychiatrists and started making calls.
He started with intense outpatient for 8 weeks. He was diagnosed with a psychosis, mood disorder, anxiety and depression. They put him on Risperidole, Zoloft and Intuniv. (He was diagnosed with ADD at age 7). This had no impact on him at all. The beginning of July he was talking about killing himself again so I admitted him to an adolescent psych hospital he was there for 8 whole days.
I saw some improvement. So I allowed him to go to Chicago to visit his only sister for 9 days. When he got back I discovered she was having him cover for her cheating. She took his money and ignored him. His sister was always a safe haven for him. He felt hurt, betrayed and very angry. I asked him what was wrong and he told the biggest lie of his life that night about his sister. A life changing lie.
That night (I had no Idea) he cut his throat (superficial wound) and both his wrists (also superficial) so off to the hospital again. He told me during a visit that they changed his meds. Well, nobody asked me or informed me of this. I called and called and called and got nobody on the phone that could explain this to me. So finally I called the unit he was on and told them the next day I am going to take him home.
Things were going a little bit better for about a month and a half (this was in August) I had found what I thought was a very good therapist. He was still seeing the same Doctor for med management. I kept telling him the meds weren’t working and he would just up the dosage. Then in the middle of October my son started to get really moody and just plain mean. He would tell me he didn’t love me and that he hated his little brother and wished his step-father weren’t around at all. Then he started saying he wanted to hurt his little brother (he’s 2) and that set me off. I got really angry and I told him that if this is the way he was going to be acting I won’t have him living here. The next morning he climbed out his bedroom window and ran up the drive way and into the interstate highway and got hit by a truck. Luckily didn’t die or get any serious internal or brain injuries. He broke his left foot in several places, his right leg and his right elbow.
He was in the hospital for a week. He was then diagnosed as schizophrenic. I took him home because the only psych hospital that would take him in a wheel chair was the one I pulled him out of. It was hard due to the fact he couldn’t walk and only had one foot he could use. I was taking care of him like a baby and he loved every minute of it. He was getting better, so I thought, then on day he was really rude and demanding. Then when it was almost time for his PT to come he had a bowl movement in his pants. His reason was because he could and didn’t want to stop playing his video games.
That night I took him to the ER at the same hospital he was at 3 weeks prior. They admitted him to the psych ER and then the adolescent unit. He is there now. He is happier in there that at home. I have learned that he is stress free and that his little brother is a trigger for him. I have been trying all week to get them to change his meds. The Risperdal that his original psychiatrist prescribed doesn’t work. But I haven’t had any luck with it. He is going to be going to the state hospital soon for a 30 to 90 day stay. He knows this and agrees to it. I am worried that his life will be better spent in hospitals. He thrives there but just goes downhill fast at home and is always depressed at home. This is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my entire life.