I was an Executive Chef with a special passion for cooking and creating new dishes. I spent ten years of my life doing that. Towards the end it was just becoming so boring and uninspiring. I was feeling supported by the owners and the other managers involved (who are all related). One Thursday in July I just couldn’t do it anymore. For the last six or so months before that day I could feel it coming on. I felt so sorry for myself and for everyone else because I did not want to let anyone down. But I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I was feeling irrational and suicidal. I ended up going to the mental health ward at a local hospital and was in-patient for a week. I started seeing a therapist and I went into a health realization treatment program for alcohol abuse. I know I was using alcohol to cope with the way that I was feeling about my work and the pressure on me. I had labeled myself a failure. I could not see a way out. So I quit. And along with that I lost all of those people who worked with me that I’d known for a long time as friends.
They blame me for giving up. The truth was that I was labeling myself as a victim. I should have been looking for a new opportunity about 5 years ago. I had really convinced myself that I knew what my life was and I just had to deal with it. Going through this treatment and Six Dimensions, focusing on the Three Principles, has really helped me to take a step back from my initial reaction and to think rationally about what I am feeling.
The real underlying truth is that we always have a choice. We can choose what to think about and how we can react to our thoughts and situations that happen to us. We can choose to be miserable… or we can choose to learn a lesson and get curious about new things! In the end now… I’m still doing drop-ins at treatment and I’m still seeing a social worker. I’m unemployed as of right now. And I still haven’t heard from any of those old “friends” I used to work with. Thanks for reading.
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