I only read the most recent stories. But those people frustrated me. Good for them but they had some hope. Sunshine in their lives. They actually went to school and got married and had children,
I have been diagnosed with Treatment resistant, double depression with Generalized Anxiety and Social Anxiety, I have truly and objectively never accomplished anything that led to something better,
15 Years of Therapy, I have one main Psychiatrist and have also been treated by others. I only get worse. I have no friends, No, I have one friend who lives 3,000 miles away.
The will do things that might advance my life has never been present. The will to pick up a piece of paper I dropped is often a struggle I lose.
I might no be alone in the sense that others suffer, and there are people online, but in real terms I am alone. I do have my Father, God and My Psychiatrist
I have never read a story about someone who is not in an institution worse off than me, They must be out there,
I can only write this because of the only medication that allows me to function. Amphetimines, And they are not fun when they wear off.
I was told ETC had a 70 percent positive outcome, whether one believed in it or not. I thought it might work.
I am one of the 30 percent.
I wake up with sadness or sadness and anxiety,
The other friend who I thought was a friend and lived only 600 miles away. Never bothered to check in with me when I stopped communicating with him because of a terrible thing that happened and I couldn’t communicate with anyone,
So I am alone. Those who I have read about are very lucky, Compared to my situations they are the definition of well adjusted people with no mental illness,
I am capable of many things but the ideas in my head are not able to be translated into any action.
I am alone. I am truly and terribly and constantly sad. Except when on stimulants and because I recently thought I might be able to accomplish a couple of things, then realized that my mind was once again stopping me and making it impossible I get sad on stimulants too,
I am alone
I am very sorry