I have been battling depression my entire life and yet I have managed to survive even after several attempts at suicide. My father committed suicide in my presence when I was a child and my Uncle committed suicide because he was terminally ill. They say it runs in families, but I’m trying to break the cycle. My diagnosis is Major Depressive Disorder and like many others who suffer from this mental illness, I’m aware of society’s outlook on it, but I also know it’s not my fault. My ability to get through this is not without help. I take antidepressants and go to therapy; the two go hand in hand. More importantly, I am learning why I hurt myself and why I’m self destructive. I think this is the first step in accepting one’s self and learning how to understand and deal with certain behaviors associated with depression. People have told me that my father was a coward for taking the easy way out and I grew up ashamed of him. When people asked about how he died I would lie and say “he was in a car accident” because people could handle that better and I wasn’t ousted. Now I am him and I understand what he was going through and I do not think he was a coward, I just think he was ill. My wish is that the public would become more educated on the subject.
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