I was very germophobic in my early childhood but it passed. I was always very dressy. The thought of sweats bothers me. Then this summer right before high school I started feeling locked like I was basically choosing between life and death. If I moved my bones where always tense, if I had a thought I would walk backward to where I was before I had had it, then in school I had to erase an rewrote everything. I knew it was fake but I couldn’t help. I just started medicine which helps, but, I get tired. If I would have heard of OCD before I would have thought someone was crazy or a clean crazy person, but, now I know it’s truly unexplained because it is hard get help. If you feel like your gonna break, get help, you won’t feel like a time bomb anymore.
Plain and simple, I have bipolar disorder and anxiety and I’m here to say, I’M STABLE! THERE IS HOPE! I owe my stability to God first, then my family, my hard work and determination to get and stay stable and of course my physiologist and psychiatrist! THERE IS LIFE WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS! DO NOT GIVE UP!
Hello, I’m Hannah, I have suffered with depression on and off through out my life. I am not depressed at the moment but I feel like I am always having to fight it, so I don’t fall into that black whole again. I suffer with anxiety too and I don’t know why. No one understands what a struggle it can be just to do simple things and it’s hard to talk about because people will just think I am silly and won’t understand. I have also suffered with terrible panic attacks in the past. I just thought it would be nice to chat with people that are in the same position as me and find out if there are anyways in which I can help myself.
I’ve suffered with depression/anxiety since I was a teenager. It has gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. I’m now heading into my mid-40s. I take medication, see a doctor and therapist. All in hopes of one day actually realizing life is worth living. For right now, I’m taking it day by day. After 25+ years one can truly admit that the natural order is to fight for life. Otherwise, I wouldn’t still be here. Many of my friends and my entire family know of my mental disorders. Some would rather ignore it and others support me. However, it is interesting that when you have such extreme reactions to your illness, it brings about more anxiety. It’s such a nasty cycle. But one that I’ve been circling, so it’s best to keep a good pair of sneaks handy :)
My family used to tell me for over half of my life that I needed to stop eating and i was “fat”. I struggled with eating disorders for over a year. On April 15th of this year, I overdosed on around 60 aspirin. I was in Children’s Hospital for 2 days and then admitted to a psych hospital for 14 days. I was diagnosed with major depression, anorexia nervosa, and bulimia nervosia. I went back in 2 weeks after I got out for severe self harm. They then added generalized anxiety order. I attempted suicide in the hospital and popped a blood vessel. I went home for a month after that and then returned for 4 suicide attempts in a two hour period because I was hearing voices. They added borderline personality traits and major depression with psychotic symptoms. I was sent to a placement home for up to 90 days.
Although they were horrible decisions, I wouldn’t take them back because they made me learn and I changed tremendously (for the better). If you notice yourself getting depressed, suicidal, or having any abnormal mental troubles, please please please tell someone so you can get help. Everyone has a purpose and you are apart of that everyone. people love you, as much as you think they don’t. Just because you use suicide to erase your pain, doesn’t mean the people’s around you is erased.
I wish good luck to all you beautiful souls. xo
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