My youngest child is 29 and has been incarcerated for 3 and a half years. In November of 2010 he shot and killed a man that had been married to his grandmother. All because he was not on medication and was having another bizarre delusion that this time he acted on. Once in jail he was started on medication. The lawyer we hired couldn’t really converse with him coherently for a few months. Over two years went by and he eventually convinced his lawyer to take a plea agreement and was sentenced to 30 years with 10 years suspended. We were willing to take his case to trial even asking for Not Guilty by reason of insanity plea, but we were told we only had a 2% chance of winning. We so wanted to let everyone know the suffering we had been witnessing for several years. The frustration of our attempts to get him help. We were willing to “bare all” to get him less time and even to a hospital. We saw slowly a new person evolve and he continues to be a new son to us. A mixture of the sweet caring and funny child we raised and a grown man with mental illness. The prison he is now at has recently begun a “Social Skills” program on his block. He is fortunately in a pod with other people with Mental illness. His dad and I were interviewed by a writer in March of last year and then Ben’s article was published in June 2013. When conversing with Ben we occasionally talk about the “what if’s” but I always encourage him to know that we can’t change what happened, and now must make the best of what is. Reminding him, “I had to lose you, to get you back, so that’s okay” Because I love him so. Ben had always been a very responsible person and has acknowledged that he must pay his retribution for his actions. That is the Ben that we raised, even through his illness, he still shines.
Hi. I am sharing this story in the hopes that others have had similar experiences and would like to know if you had a successful resolution. I have a history of family mental illness. One brother has schizophrenia and the other is showing signs of mental illness for some time now, however, his is complicated with abusing medication which continue to be prescribed by his psychiatrist. Anyway….he lives with my parents and last week he had an episode where he was at the house behaving very dilusional and aggressive toward my parents. My dad called 911 in the hopes that they would come and help calm him and get him to a psychiatric facility. In the course of the call my brother ran out of the house, jumped in a car, and took off. My dad followed him and told the 911 dispatcher where he was. Shortly later, three police cars pulled my brother over and instead of trying to help get him to a facility - they arrested him for a DUI because he admitted to taking medication that day. Kept him in jail in a freezing cold detox cell overnight until my parents could bail him out. Now, we are trying to battle a DUI on top of getting him the proper psychiatric/rehab treatment. Anyone else have similar experiences? What did you do?
My husband and I have been married for 23 years now. We married very young. We have 2 teenaged boys.
it all started in 2004. I noticed my husband’s behaviour changing. He would disappear for days. He would also go out every night leaving me with my kids alone. I noticed he would buy expensive clothing and I would question him where he got the money from but we would always end up in an argument. I missed him. I missed the man I knew. Slowly I also noticed his behaviour changing. He would be sniffing all the time, he would get angry all the time. He slept most of the time. He quit his job which I couldn’t understand why but I know he got fired. I also noticed our money slowly depleting. ..I asked him where he was going and where was our money going? I knew he was taking drugs….crack cocaine. Since then it has been hard. He has no friends, his family lost connection with him, he doesn’t work, and the hard part is he now suffers from mental illness. I have seen doctors to please help and lets figure out the root of the problem
No one listened to me. My husband had caused so much destruction and anguish in my life. I couldn’t take all the financial abuse so I contacted the police. He has been in and out of jail. I really wish people who suffer from drug addiction and mental help be taken seriously. It seems like the health system has no time to sit and listen. Yes he is a grown man but he doesn’t act like one. He suffers from memory loss and poor balance. I feel his health is shutting down slowly. I have contacted his family to please see him. This man has done so much for the community. He has donated money to sick kids and I am talking thousands of dollars. This man has helped sponsor his mom to come to Canada and she had abandoned him. He has given her a better life so why can’t she be with him before it is too late. This man has sent money to his sisters to help them and they don’t return my phone calls. This man took in his mom and sister without paying rent so they pretty much lived off our income and now they don’t even bother to give a hand. This man has helped his friends financially and they never returned money or help. The list goes on….
Yes people make mistakes and people should be forgiven. I wished people wouldn’t overlook mental illness and drug addiction. There is always the root of the problem and up to today I don’t know why or understand why this happened…people shouldn’t tell me everything will be ok. How do they know that?
Hello everyone ,my name is Gary. I have had serious problems with law enforcement. My mental illness is also anti-establishment, mostly due to the treatment I have relieved from local police. I will be fine for a while and then crazy things come into my head and I respond to them by doing them. For instance I started a speech in my city at 7:45 am at the busiest intersection in Pomona, the speech was not planed and I was asking all the parents to impeach President Clinton, I told them they were sending all children a message that it is okay to cheat on your spouse, I told them the president of the USA is their children’s hero. The police were called to the scene and after I was roughed up I was taken to a mental hospital for 3 day holding and observation. I have done 3 prison terms until I was given the meds I needed so desperately. I am severe ADHD with a social disorder. I am now a speaker a the CIT training center for law enforcement. If I help one Officer recognize one mentally ill suspect and correctly evaluate the situation I have done what I myself never had the chance to be understood and it makes me proud that some of the law enforcement officers truly are interested in learning to spot mentally ill. Thank you for a great program that can and does save lives.
I found out my son has schizophrenia about 10 years ago. Since then our lives have been getting harder and harder. I have been trying to educate myself fast enough to keep up with the changes and struggles my son must face but it’s an uphill battle. I do feel like I am alone. I want to find this community of understanding and defense that I keep hearing about. My son desperately needs a good lawyer and of course he has nothing in the way of money. He was homeless, is indigent, and very likely will be arrested and put in jail-again. It feels like some of us are destined to go through hell here on earth. Is there no one who understands that he is ill? That he is not responsible for the way he behaves and the choices he makes? Again, no matter how mean he is to me sometimes, no matter how much I cry, I do understand that he is my son, and he is sick, and I can’t seem to find the answers that I need to help him.
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