I always knew something was wrong with the way I acted. In school all my life I didn’t get good grades, couldn’t focus, wasn’t there at all in my mind. I always had a temper, a big one. I would get so mad and I wouldn’t remember what I would say or do. I still do that to this day. I would get so sad that I wouldn’t want to be here anymore, I would want to just crawl in a hole and disappear. But then there’s times where I can get so happy and chatty and can’t stop talking and my mind is racing full of thoughts and I can’t stop.
I’m like a mouse on a wheel. I have Bipolar, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and PTSD. A year ago it got worse I started seeing people. Hallucinating. And seeing things in the corner of my eyes. Seeing spiders. I had psychosis.
They sent me to a behavioral hospital for Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). I stayed there for a year learning all the skills and learning my triggers and learning how to cope. It helped so much. I recommend anyone to DBT. It’s such a wonderful experience. I’m not going to lie, I still struggle from time to time but I use my skills to get me out of those times of grief and it works. It really does.