I find it interesting how society has such a profound fascination with science fiction movies that have superheroes with superpowers fighting villains trying to take over the world because sometimes, that strange Marvel world seems to be my schizophrenic world exactly and completely. I don’t know if anyone would understand who is “normal,” but I am not sure how to say this without stirring things up, but why would I have such strange uncontrollable “powers” that are supposedly imaginary, when I feel so strongly within me that they are real. Now, I cannot fly, I wonder about telepathy along with thought insertion and withdrawal, I wonder about “teleportation” and “telekinesis,” but I know they are all things that can occur in my mind, but not in reality. After all, I cannot fly. I get things wrong from time to time testing my ESP powers, but that is exactly how I got into trouble with my mental illness in the first place. I tested reality and did some strange things like drive off to California to find myself. Now, don’t get me wrong, I would be a hero and not a villain in this massive overhead war that no one else seems to recognize, but am I delusional right now? No, I am on my meds and simply airing things out that interest me greatly. What the world calls crazy is science fiction, but it is partially my world. Now, do I let the imaginary part of me that gives myself hope die within me to be normal? Do I stop “hallucinating” that I can hear angels or have to fight demons every day even while on the meds? Obviously, the Saints used to hear and see such things in times past, but now, the people who do are considered confused and insane. I find this phenomenon so interesting to note in our culture and society that I had to post something. What are other schizophrenic viewpoints? I am a Christian and a strong one at that. I believe I can hear the voice of God and usually, that voice is kind to me. When the Voice is unkind and calls himself “god,” I refer to the Bible for an explanation and have to believe that that evil entity is someone called the “devil.” Now, when growing up with schizophrenia, I did not always fight the devil. I did not know what his evil voice was. No one told me. No one showed me, “Hey that is the devil, avoid him, he’ll lead you into insanity.” So, of course, I sometimes followed the derisive voice in my head and I had to learn over time that I could not trust that dark, menacing and threatening persecutory voice. I had to learn first hand to call upon God and his Angels to help me, now, I caution that I said asked for help, because I find that Satan just keeps lingering, but the older i get, the more I fight him off and take the meds, the better I get. I have been hospitalized 4 times. I had to quit a medical career after getting an M.D. degree, and so I have had it bad. I have been confused testing reality, but I decided enough was enough and became my own superhero and starting fighting the forces of evil in the world. Now, it is my secret war. I don’t tell people that, but I am coming off disability, I have a job I am trying hard to succeed at in real estate. I am trying to get along with my parents. I am coming to terms with my “illness,” which honestly, I have to say is ESP powers out of control. After I learned that dopamine stimulates the foresight centers in the brain, the imaginary parts that look into future possiblities, and serotonin processes and analyses thoughts better after the fact, especially the complicated and heavy and depressing thoughts that seem to have no answers, and epinephrine and norepinephrine help cope with the present stresses of the day, then I understood it all. Dopamine is overactive in my mind. It is the result of my “gamma ray exposure.” For whatever reason, I overproduce Dopamine and with it, I had to learn over time that my mind goes into imaginary possibilities and tries to make them real. It took me forever and a long time to understand that my “hallucinations” were not real. They were my imaginative part of my mind in screwed up patterns of planning for my future. Get it? In other words, a messed up “prophet’s” mind. So, what is my weapon of choice? Well, they say that the pen is stronger than the sword? Well, I figure I have done some damage to the forces of evil taking over your mind. Fight, my schizophrenic and mentally ill friends. Fight for reality. Take a stand and stand up for yourselves once you figure out God’s world. It is not that bad. We have to try to read the Bible, take our meds, and find the Truth that heals in this universe by becoming heroes in this fight against mental illness. Peace.