I had always been different. From a young age I was rebellious and had no filter. My Mother tried to keep me out of trouble but trouble just seemed to find me. In my adolescence, after years of family fights and struggles and me always feeling like something just wasn’t right with me, I agreed to talk to a therapist. Immediately my therapist referred me to a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me as bipolar 1. I was put on medication and sent home. I never took my meds back then, in fact it took me years of acceptance to finally come to terms with the idea of having mental illness. I dropped out of high school and hit rock bottom. I was admitted to behavioral health units and went through some treatment plans before I finally saw the importance of medication and really understood what my diagnosis was all about. Ever since that reality hit I have taken my treatment more seriously and have been on better terms with my family. I have graduated with my GED at age 24 and am hopeful that with all my everyday ups and downs I can one day hit a full recovery.
Our son has lived with Schizoaffective Disorder for about 13 years. He is now 33. He lives with me, his mother and his father. He took medications for 10 years. He then decided on his own to go off all medications which initially was stressful. He has learned to cope with his symptoms without medications. His grooming has improved remarkably, as well as his organization skills. He lost 30 lb. almost immediately which made him feel better about himself. He has become a vegan and eats minimal gluten. I believe gluten may be the final piece of puzzle, which he is beginning to research and lean toward. (It must be his idea) He still has anxiety in social situations, as well as OCD, but has improved so much from his original state of being. I believe the meds stabilized him and am so happy for them initially. However in his case, 10 years later, diet has helped tremendously. Gluten has been associated with autism and schizophrenia in many case studies. Perhaps it could help in your case also. Blessings and strength to you. Hope brings good things.
My name is Jeff.
The fight I’m in doesn’t have referee
At times, I could be fighting myself. Sometimes these are brutal rounds.
A fighter is supposed to protect himself at all times.
Does my corner see?
This is life.
My life’s not a Sport viewed by millions in order to be entertained and inspired.
Being a good sport.
1. I have issues.
2. I don’t always know what to do.
Confusing as it is.
1. people care.
2.not in words alone,
WHO IS IT I’M FIGHTING?
Because I really don’t know what I am about to write please bear with me.
I am diagnosed with (3) disorders: Bipolar, Borderline Personality and Post Traumatic Stress. I was diagnosed in 2002 however, I was not fully aware of how much I am different from the norm until 2012. Prior to my diagnoses I presumed everyone went through emotional changes and raging outburst. I didn’t know I was depressed or manic. I knew there was something “wrong” with me but I didn’t know that it had a name to it. When I was first told I was mentally ill I began to cry in my doctor’s office because I had been taught so many negatives about “retarded” people. I asked my doctor if I was retarded and he told me no, and began to explain the differences to me but of course that went in one ear and out the other because all I heard was that I was a “crazy person”. I looked up the word mental illness in my thesaurus and a synonym was lunatic so that gave me more dread and caused me more depression and fears. I didn’t know what would become of me since I was a “lunatic”.
Growing up I used to always get told in a joking manner I was bipolar. Hahaha, funny right? No! Because at the age of 21 when I tried to OD on pain pills and became diagnosed with depression bipolar disorder and suicidal ideations (bordeline personality disorder at 23) it became a joke turned reality! Its amazing how going to therapy opens your eyes to the things that still eat you up. I lost 1 of my best friends (paternal grandmother) at the age of 9 I was molested by my moms biological father at 12 and her brother from 10-12,
I was drunk beyond memory and 2 guys had sex with my unconscious body. I was broken down mentally emotionally and physically and its all effected me and still does. I often feel like nobody understands what it is I feel and go through. And honestly until you open up you never will. I still struggle with controlling my illness and the suicidal ideations but im still young, I’m 24. I like quick results so I tend to stop taking medicine when I feel like its not helping. But everybody is different its gonna take a lil while to find my right concoction. I want to share what I went through and what im still going through because I want to inspire somebody like me to keep fighting, to keep pushing, to keep faith! Ive tried commiting suicide around 7x and I’m still here. So please please please keep getting the help you need, speak up, speak out, save yourself, save a friend, save a stranger. And no matter what religion you are always keep faith. Your story can save somebodys life!
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