I have always been thin. I used to weigh between 105-110 pounds, which wasn’t unusual for me. However, in 2007, my health & happiness with my weight changed. I felt like I had to be perfect, all because of a now (thankfully) previous coworker. At first, I just had those thoughts that I was fat. However, by late 2007, I got worse. My then boss knew I was struggling. One day I told her I needed help. She told me she was working on it. December 11, 2007, was the day of my first session seeing a psychologist at a Psychiatric Clinic & Hospital in my hometown. I was diagnosed (which I already knew I had) with anorexia. In January 2008, I also began seeing a dietitian & psychiatrist at the same clinic. The month before therapy, I weighed 107. A few weeks into treatment, I dropped to 103. I wanted to get down to 100 pounds. I exercised compulsively, kept track of how many calories I ate, bought foods that were low in calories, skipped meals, & kept track of how many calories I burned when exercising.
Emotionally, I got irritated easily & wanted to cry for no reason. Physically, I got dizzy at times, & felt weak, tired, & cold. Obviously, people noticed. I never saw how skinny I was, & never believed people when they made comments. Plus, I didn’t care that I had others worried. It was “all about me.” I wanted to go inpatient & have a nasogastric tube. Twice, I even had dreams about going into the hospital.