I’ve been struggling with a mood disorder since the age of 15. It may have been hanging around before then, but 15 is the age that I remember. I experienced two full years of intense emotions and dulled them with marijuana, which was the closest thing to medication I could get at the time. I honestly did not believe that I would live to graduate from high school.
I finally came to accept that I have a mental illness. Having PTSD, Psychosis Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (NOS), Mood Disorder NOS and Borderline Personality disorder is a struggle. It’s hard fighting invisible battles that nobody see’s but you. I’m only 19. The severe mood swings from extremely happy to severely depressed in 2.5 seconds, the flashbacks, the outer body experiences. Why me I never asked to be abused. No matter how many people that surrounds me I always feel alone. Empty like a never ending hole has engulfed my mind. I’ve been battling myself since I was 12, but now that I have accepted it completely… Maybe I can finally be at peace.
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When you become a member of NAMI, you become part of America's largest grassroots organization dedicated to improving the lives of persons living with serious mental illness. And now you can join online