My family used to tell me for over half of my life that I needed to stop eating and i was “fat”. I struggled with eating disorders for over a year. On April 15th of this year, I overdosed on around 60 aspirin. I was in Children’s Hospital for 2 days and then admitted to a psych hospital for 14 days. I was diagnosed with major depression, anorexia nervosa, and bulimia nervosia. I went back in 2 weeks after I got out for severe self harm. They then added generalized anxiety order. I attempted suicide in the hospital and popped a blood vessel. I went home for a month after that and then returned for 4 suicide attempts in a two hour period because I was hearing voices. They added borderline personality traits and major depression with psychotic symptoms. I was sent to a placement home for up to 90 days.
Although they were horrible decisions, I wouldn’t take them back because they made me learn and I changed tremendously (for the better). If you notice yourself getting depressed, suicidal, or having any abnormal mental troubles, please please please tell someone so you can get help. Everyone has a purpose and you are apart of that everyone. people love you, as much as you think they don’t. Just because you use suicide to erase your pain, doesn’t mean the people’s around you is erased.
I wish good luck to all you beautiful souls. xo
For the past 2 years I’ve shared Facebook notes about why the NAMI Walk is so important to me. Looking back at them now, it’s a chronicle of how much my friend has been through in that time. Two years ago, she was in the same place that she’d been in for much of the time I’ve known her – chronically suicidal, wanting desperately to die but knowing that those feelings and the voices telling her to do it were a symptom of her mental illness. My note that year was about the 3 AM phone calls, and the incredibly insensitive (and dangerous) responses she got when she tried to reach out for help. By this time last year, she was in a very different place – lost in a period of psychosis, unable to have any kind of conversation that made sense – the result of professionals’ failure to take her (or me) seriously as the voices took over and she started to lose control. My note last year was about my realization of just how strong the stigma and discrimination against mental illness really is – that somebody fighting for her life and sanity could be so easily dismissed as “just trying to get attention.”
This quote was on a journal my mother gave me when I was young. She had started to encourage me to write in journals to help with my overwhelming emotions. To this day, this quote reminds me that control is within my power and that the past is the past. There is little I can do about it now, but I can learn and grow from it.
I was diagnosed with depression,anxiety, and insomnia when I was 23. I am still going through therapy and am still have some difficult times here and there. While it is nothing compared to how it was, I know now that the most important thing to do when you have something wrong is to speak out. No one can read your mind. You have to, and its okay to be afraid.
Do not look at my mental illnesses as a disease that is to be feared, and never listen to my real feelings. This is folly. This is foolishness of heart. No medication will replace what listening to the issue from those who live with so called mental illnesses.
My daughter had the traits of borderline personality disorder as early as the age of one, but no one knew about borderline personality disorder in the 1980’s, and she didn’t get diagnosed until she was eighteen years old. Early diagnosis and treatment might have changed the entire course of her life; instead, she and the rest of our family suffered years of misdiagnoses, school problems, drug problems and legal troubles. My daughter finally did get the help she needed as an adult, but a lot of pain could have been prevented with earlier detection.
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When you become a member of NAMI, you become part of America's largest grassroots organization dedicated to improving the lives of persons living with serious mental illness. And now you can join online