Hello. I was diagnosed with Autism in late Aug. 1984. Over the years I’ve had panic attacks, strong unipolar depression and generalized anxiety condition. I later developed Latent Autoimmune Diabetes of Adults in late August 2008.
I’ve wanted (on numerous occasions) to end my own suffering.
I was admitted to the psych ward seven times (Aug 2000-Dec 2013), four for the Genesis Medical Davenport, two at University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics and once at Covenant Medical Center in Waterloo.
I’ve suffered dearly, though I hope something becomes better for me during the upcoming years. I’m wanting work for Autism Society or similar groups of Autism related networks to help others with Autism.
I’ve been dealing with anxiety since early 2012. Panic attacks, couldn’t leave home without freaking out, my social life was completely destroyed. Anxiety was due to hypochondria, an episode involving my health triggered it. Months ago I started cognitive conductual therapy, it’s slowly helping me, and I already managed to hang out with some of my friends again. I still felt extremely anxious before leaving, but I managed to do it and I’m getting out more often now. I’m also taking medications, and my psychiatrist says I’m making progress.
My parents have a history of mental illness on both sides including: bipolar, depression, anxiety, OCD and narcissism and borderline. There is also a heavy history of alcoholism on both sides. I feel that genetically given my biology I inherited genetics for my mental illnesses and was kinda screwed at the get go. I also grew up in a CRAZY abusive household. I was/am totally traumatized. So hereditary and environment—the double whammy.
I went to a highly regarded anxiety and depression center and was evaluated extensively. They told me the evaluation would take 5 hours. Mine took 11. ;-) I knew that was a sign.
It’s pretty easy for me to figure out where to begin. When I was in 6th grade, I was bullied horribly. Peers assaulted me and I got showed inside of lockers a lot. Being an internal person, I figured that it was somehow my fault that others didn’t like me. This continued into 7th grade. By then I was cutting and oftentimes pinched myself black and blue to keep from crying every day I went into that building. I have contemplated suicide seriously 3 times, each time with a plan that I got talked out of through phone call help lines. Once at the school there was a teacher standing 5 feet away, there was the group of girls in my face yelling the b-word at me. The teacher didn’t do anything. I lost it. I left the building and never came back after breaking down.
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