Growing up, I was agitated yet shy. I was hospitalized for my first time in 2005 as a sophomore in high school; I had been cutting my wrists. My dad is a psychiatrist. As I was waiting to be admitted, he told me that he used to struggle with depression. That really hit close to home.
Time went on. I took an anti-depressant and started college. I hung around the wrong crowd. I smoked weed and partied with them. I lost my virginity, and I was still agitated and still shy.
In 2009 as a sophomore in college, I watched president Obama get sworn into office. On that day, with great insight, I had faith that my mind was sparked. I never would have guessed that a little more than a year later I would be hospitalized again.
Christmas Eve of 2010 I unwillingly was checked into a hospital in Cleveland, OH for psychosis. In the couple of weeks leading up to the hospitalization I was having major delusions and I was smoking more marijuana than ever.
I spent about two weeks in the hospital, got out for about a week, and then was admitted unwillingly once again. By the time that I got out of the hospital, I was depressed like I had never been before. I was also paranoid, anxious, and still delusional.
I moved back in with my parents during the start of the spring semester 2011. I was lethargic; I gained weight, did not get out of bed, and was simply not taking care of myself.
I attended a NAMI support group about a month later and met some nice people. I knew that the group could only offer me so much. I still needed to structure my time.
Fast forward to Dec. 2012, I graduate college with honors, am active, losing weight, and am headed to Tucson, AZ to relocate with my family. A half a year after moving, I was offered a job at COPE Community Services as a Recovery Coach (my current job). Currently, I am structured, active, and setting high goals. I still have faith that my time will come. With all that being said, I’m still agitated and shy from time to time, but I will continue to help myself as I help others at my job and in my spare time.