Growing up I was a difficult child. I always felt a complex level of neglect and felt unloved comparatively to my older brother and younger sister. Being the middle child I felt like I wasn’t the favorite. In addition to that I was bullied. Because of all negativity I numbed off my emotions and fell into a deep depression. There was a period of time when I never smiled and period of time when I didn’t even speak. I also had some other strange behaviors like I pulled hair when I was anxious (later I learned it was called trichotillomania), I had problems with symmetry (for example I couldn’t wear 1 watch on one wrist but I could wear a watch if I had one on each wrist) and I was traumatized somehow by my brother so I was a vegetarian among other issues.
I’ve been going back and forth about being open about my personal life. Only family and close friends know the dark part of me. It’s a taboo subject and I, like others, have the fear of being judged. I’ve come to the conclusion that its better for me to be open considering how it may help. I’d love to educate others and also show people they aren’t alone.
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