WHY YOUR LIFE IS IMPORTANT
Not Alone.
I think the title for this wonderful blog encapsulates one of the most important but mind-boggling phrases for people with mental health disorders. I say this because although it’s such a powerful phrase, for many of us with mental illness, it’s often incredibly difficult to believe.
Our pain is so deep-rooted and so personal that we often can’t imagine that others can relate to it. We can’t fathom the idea of someone else knowing what it’s like to be so physically depressed that it aches in your body, it weighs down your chest, and makes life physically painful to live. We can’t imagine that someone can relate to our own negative thoughts, the dark visions we have, the negative self image we form, the thoughts of suicide or self harm we may posses.
The terrifying part of mental illness is what a personal illness it is. It takes your deepest and most personal insecurities, your greatest anxieties and fears, and your darkest thoughts, and aggravates them to the point where you are consumed in your own personal nightmare. And it’s hard to imagine that anyone else can also experience that. It’s hard to imagine that you are truly not alone.
But yet what we find when we speak up is how much love and support their is out their for us in this world.
Though no one may able to truly relate to how our mental illness has manifested in our specific lifestyle, it doesn’t mean there aren’t people capable of relating to us and caring for us.
We are trained from a young age to attach a negative stigma towards mental health disorders. We see psychotic killers in movies and are culturally appropriated to believe that mental illness triggers systematic violence. In the shows and cartoons we watch, we rarely see a character who exhibits mentally ill qualities and leads a healthy life-style, leading us to believe that mental illness isn’t normal and should be feared. We are taught to distance ourselves from those with mental illness, and that if we ourselves exhibit these issues, then we too should be distanced by others. We are taught to feel “alone.”
But it just isn’t true.
If you or someone you know suffers from mental illness, you likely know that people with mental illness are often capable of much more empathy and compassion than those without it. People with mental illness have experienced some of the darkest things and the world and often those dark moments give them the capability to understand others pain and to empathize others on a much deeper level. People with mental illness can feel much more deeply and can love like no one else.
I have been suffering from mental illness for almost two years now. I’m an 18 year old college student, diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, and alcoholism. There were times where I planned to kill myself, where I cut myself everyday, and where I drank night after night hoping to ease my pain. I’ve been through a lot of dark moments and most days felt like there was no one in the world who cared for me or who could understand me.
Yet if I have learned anything from my struggles it is that I’m now capable of so much more love than I ever was before my illness. If you are experiencing or have ever experienced mental illness, I can for sure say that you posses these same traits. Because your illness has allowed you to experience more depth than most of the people in your life have ever experienced. Your illness has given you the ability to love deeper and harder than most others around you. Thought mental illness itself is nothing to be thankful for, your capacity to love can truly be considered a blessing.
And that is why you are important. You give people love, you give people warmth, and you make people happy. Though your illness may feel like a burden and a source of stigma, it has actually given you empathy that I can guarantee people love you for. No matter how alone you feel I can promise you, your life is valuable and worth living. Because, you have story to tell. You have a voice to be heard. You have people to help. Your life has purpose.
I know mental illness is tough. It’s so unbelievably hard. I’ve been there. There were days, weeks, months where I wanted to end my life because it was so emotionally and physically painful. Mental illness is so, so hard. But if anything, it gives you an experience to share, and to use to help others.
And that is why we are not alone.
Our experiences may be different but we all have stories to share. We all have love to give and we have a community that can be built from this sharing.
Speak up. It takes bravery to share your story. It takes strength to ask for help. And people will respond. Because you are important. Because you aren’t alone.
Don’t ever feel silenced. Because the more we talk about mental illness, the less alone we can help others with mental illness feel. Because we truly aren’t alone, and everyone should deserve to feel that way.
The hardest part in my experience has been being a college student with alcoholism and depression has been feeling like I can tell people about my issues. When you’re in an environment where alcohol is so present and people are constantly trying to hide there negative feelings, it can feel so lonely. I felt like my addiction and my depression outcasted me and was something to be ashamed of. I felt like it was something I should be embarrassed to share and ashamed to seek help for. Yet every instance where I have disclosed my troubles to someone, has been met with nothing but love and compassion.
People, even without mental illness, could relate to me on some level. And people wanted to help. People have a natural desire to make others feel good. And I can promise that your desire for help, will be met with someone who will get joy out of helping you.
Because you aren’t alone. Because although people can’t always relate to you, they love you and they want to help. People respect me now for my ability to speak up and admire the strength it has taken for me to talk about my illness. If you are feeling alone, know that choosing to speak out poses no risk to you. In fact, it will likely earn you more love and respect from your peers who will be in awe at your ability to talk about such a difficult topic. There is strength in seeking support. It’s easy to sit back and try to deal with your pain alone. It’s harder to reach out for help. But I promise if you do reach out, there are people who will reach back.
I’ve learned that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how hard things get remember how much love there is around you and how much love you have to give. You are important. You are not alone.