My Name is Steven. I am almost 59 years old. I had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia at age 21. I have been ashamed of my diagnosis and kept the illness very quiet. I come from a large family, I am the 4th child of 8. I was saved by Dr Dmochowski. I believed I had lived through the Summer of 1976 with depression.

My Bipolar disorder started in 1977. I started to have Manic episodes and It was like; I could solve all the world problems and people would believe it. Then, sometimes even the same day,  I would be walking down the street at night and see car headlights. I would hide behind a tree so the car would not see me. I started hearing voices as well. These voices were telling to have sex. I do not recall now what I was hearing, however the voices were not malicious and mean. I had no suicidal thoughts. 

I remember that my friends were concerned because I was speaking in cliches. My parents were out sailing to Nantucket. My sister who is 4 years older lived on Cape Cod. I called her and said I was having issues. She said to come down the the Cape and stay a few days. She observed me a few days and then took me to Falmouth Hospital. It was strange because I was going in and out of coherency. Susan said there would be helicopters on the roof if I needed to leave. I thought that was an odd thing to say.

We got to the emergency room and I could hear everyone conspiring around me. The nurses kept asking me what I was on. The Doctor examined me. He did something to me, most male teenager do to themselves and I just lost it. I started to switch between a baby, a middle aged man, a teenage and an old man. I could hear all the conspiracy around me. I was admitted and put in a hospital bed. I slept for 6 days. When I came to I could see two doctors that were very polite. They reminded me of the cartoon character, Heckel and Jeckel. These two doctors started to treat me.

I left the hospital and started outpatient care two or three times a week. I was put on all kinds of medications. Some I was allergic to. I remember the fall of 1977. I was put on medication that made me lethargic, I recall it took all day to move around my mother’s living room.

In the spring of 1978 Dr Dmochowski decide to try a new medication on me. I was all for it  because what else could I do. I started it. I had my blood tested every day for a week. I continued going to outpatient care for the next two years. The medication and the care I received was great. My good friend and manager Dave of a local pizza chain, let me come back and work. I was a disaster at work. He told the staff to let me be and I finally started to bounce back.

My life turned from lethargic gloom and doom, to sunlight. I was free, alert and back. Dave gave me a contract to clean the floors every day of Pizza restaurant and I had two or three restaurants to clean every day for $50 dollars a week per restaurant. I moved out of my mother’s house into a boarding house for $50 dollars a week. Dave would let me shampoo the carpets every once in a while to earn much need money to survive.

I started Electronics school. There slogan was “ In 7 months you could have a high paying job in the computer industry”. I Went to school and started my career. I sought help along the way. I moved from Massachusetts to Colorado in May 1979. I got a job at Storage Technology. I worked hard and moved to the San Francisco Bay Area in 1981 as a Field Engineer. I dropped the medication somewhere along the way. I was told that I would be on it for life.

I saw many doctors along the way as I kept my Mental Health in check. My last doctor in Berkeley Ca finally weaned me off care. I had been taking a medication for anxiety, I would cut the pills in half and only take one when absolutely needed. My Doctor told me to take one a day for 30 days. I decided I was not going to use these pills as a crutch.

I got married and I have a son 25 years old. I bought a house in San Francisco and now I live in Northern Virginia. I have two nice houses, money in the bank and I am set for retirement when I decide to retire. I need to give give back to others that struggle. The movie Milk showed me something that the Gay activist did that changed the world. They told all the gay people to come out and stand up for who they are. People would find out that being gay was okay. People would realize that family members, friends and associates were gay and so what. The Mental illness people have to speak up as well. We who have overcome the disease especially.