I was diagnosed with BPD when I was in the US Army in 1983. With several hundred therapy visits, 2+ years facilitating for NAMI Multnomah and my own strong determination to get better I was told by my therapist at the time, “You no longer display any of the characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder”. I was floored!!! But I have not stopped striving to better my life. NAMI Connection has been an integral source of strength and knowledge for me. I am hoping to facilitate again where I now live.

I still have some mental health issues. ADHD and OCD are two of the most present now, but I have PTSD from the abuse I suffered growing up. I still see a therapist and most likely will for most of the remainder of my life. My husband and I are well versed in NAMI Connection. We first began going to a NAMI Connection group in 2013. My first visit was scary for me. I stood at the door to the room and froze. The facilitator, at that time, got up and led me by hand to a chair. I haven’t quit supporting NAMI. Everything I purchase at Amazon.com gives a percentage of my purchase to NAMI Multnomah!!!

Borderline personality disorder.

Hello there, my name is Leah Groom and I’d like to share my story with you today.

When I was 18 I was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder which hit me like a ton of bricks, why is this happening? Why me? What did I ever do wrong?  All sorts of questions were running through my head I was terrified and felt isolated from the rest of the world feeling like nobody would ever understand me, I shut my family out and let myself coil in self despair. Getting a diagnosis is hard but it’s also a huge relief although I felt all these extremely negative feelings I also felt like I finally had an answer.

 For many years I felt as though something was wrong, before I had my diagnosis I was a wreck. I couldn’t cope with my emotions I had this unexplainable anger inside I couldn’t understand why I felt so paranoid and hated I never wanted to be alone I clung to a very unhealthy relationship if we ever broke up I’d cry and feel suicidal and beg for him to come back I refused to sleep alone and slept with my mother if he wasn’t there, I left my work, I left education, I self harmed, I was always anxious, If I tried to sleep in my own room by myself I’d hear voices which terrified me, I never felt so alone. Desperate and fragile I reached out for help and that’s when they diagnosed me. At first I couldn’t believe what I was hearing at first to me it felt as though I was being degraded “Not so bad personality disorder” is what I referred it to. Until I actually searched up the meaning, the word borderline is used because people with this illness border between “Psychosis and neurosis”. For me this explained a lot and made me feel that there really WAS something wrong and the term “Borderline” wasn’t used to belittle my illness. As messed up and alone as I felt, worrying that the world and others around me would judge me, petrified of the stigma I reached out…

And things slowly started to change….

Keep reading

Surviving trauma, tackling symptoms, maintaining sobriety, staying grounded, and finding reasons to smile ……my daily preoccupations. I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder with psychotic features, and anxiety disorder. My symptoms have had a negative impact on my life for years, until I went to partial hospitalization for the fourth or fifth time and actually decided to take control of my treatment. I decided that I wanted to stand on symptoms, rather than my symptoms standing on me. With the help of my therapist, a supportive church and personal family, and my DBT skills I am looking at recovery with a smile. I still have bad days, I still have symptoms, but I won’t allow myself to become totally debilitated my the stress of it all. I choose life, I choose health, I choose happiness! I am now a PT Peer Support Specialist in an Mental Health Apartment Program, assisting others in their recovery process. 

A note of inspiration: any domestic violence, rape, or molestation victim: there is hope past the harmful memories, pleasure past the pain, and definite happiness in your future. Just seek help, and believe in yourself. We are in the fight together. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 

            My name is Jennifer and I am a recovered mental illness survivor—

            I have endured severe mental illness for over half my life.  During that time, I suffered from clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and borderline personality disorder.

            Due to the depression, my behaviors ranged from excessive crying to excessive sleeping to suicide attempts.  I felt feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness.  All I thought I wanted to do was die.   But in fact, what I really wanted was help with overcoming my severe sadness.

            During my manic states, I endured impulsive, spontaneous, and irresponsible behaviors.  I felt on top of world.  I felt excessive amounts of energy.  I had racing thoughts.  I had delusions of grandeur.  I’ll be honest.  It felt great to be so high, but it is also very dangerous.  Risky behaviors can lead to much endangerment of self and others.

Keep reading

I have been struggling with mental illness from a young age. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, adhd, ocd, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, psychogenic seizures, and a learning disability. I also am I recovering addict. I would like to spread my story to those in need to show them that the darkness does fade as long as you have the strength to flip the light. The goal is to inspire everyone but if that is not possible I aim to touch at least one person.

My name is Erin Miller. Currently, I am diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Severe Depression, and PTSD. I come from an emotionally abusive and mentally unstable family. The system neglected me and my brothers while we were growing up, leading to many disastrous consequences. It is my hope to change this system for the better through empowerment, education, letters to congress, advocacy, and ending the stigma. 

I earned my my Bachelor’s degree from Dowling College back in 2016 with honors. My degree is in Visual Arts and Graphic Design. Currently, I am seeking to earn a Masters in Creative Writing. I am writing stories on my fiction blog, I have books published, and have interned in art galleries. 

Almost two years ago, I submitted my story for the You Are Not Alone project. I wanted to submit an update to give more people with a mental health condition hope.

As a refresher for those who vaguely remember my post or for those who did not see it, I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Like many other people with Borderline Personality Disorder, I had suicide attempts; psych hospitalizations; substance abuse issues; and low self esteem, among many other feelings. I managed to complete college after seven years and was able to become licensed as a nurse.

Within the almost two years time that has elapsed, I have found employment as a nurse and have been working in the nursing field for a little over a year and a half. I was able to save up enough money from my job to buy a house, something I had wanted for a very long time.

Keep reading

I am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is on top of my other diagnoses of bipolar II disorder, ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. BPD affects four areas of my life:

1. Emotional Dysregulation:

• BPD is very exhausting and confusing to live with. I’m never sure whether to trust my emotions, if they’re justified or if I’m just overreacting.
• My moods are mostly always triggered by something in my environment, but if something good happens five minutes later, I’ll immediately feel euphoric.
• Every emotion I feel is amplified; they can change at the drop of a hat and can last only minutes or hours.
• When I am in a severe crisis where I am experiencing intense emotions, I will sometimes dissociate to deal with it. It will feel as if the situation isn’t actually real and that I’m watching myself from outside of my body.
• I have had difficult controlling my anger and have often succumbed to attacks of extreme rage - throwing things, screaming, crying, etc. It is usually very inappropriate for the situation and I can be very sarcastic and bitter.
• It is during these episodes of rage that I am most likely to intentionally hurt myself. I am much more in control of this symptom now with the help of medication, but I still have my moments.
• I also usually feel very internally restless, like something is missing. I get bored extremely easily and sometimes feel like a hollow shell. I never have a sense of fulfillment.

Keep reading

I was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is on top of my other diagnoses of bipolar II disorder, ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. BPD affects four areas of my life:

1.  Emotional Dysregulation:

BPD is very exhausting and confusing to live with.  I’m never sure whether to trust my emotions, if they’re justified or if I’m just overreacting.  My moods are mostly always triggered by something in my environment, but if something good happens five minutes later I’ll immediately feel euphoric. Every emotion I feel is amplified; they can change at the drop of a hat and can last only minutes or hours. When I am in a severe crisis where I am experiencing intense emotions, I will sometimes dissociate to deal with it. It will feel as if the situation isn’t actually real and that I’m watching myself from outside of my body.

I have had difficult controlling my anger and have often succumbed to attacks of extreme rage - throwing things, screaming, crying, etc. It is usually very inappropriate for the situation and I can be very sarcastic and bitter.  It is during these episodes of rage that I am most likely to intentionally hurt myself. I am much more in control of this symptom now with the help of medication, but I still have my moments. I also usually feel very internally restless, like something is missing. I get bored extremely easily and sometimes feel like a hollow shell. I never have a sense of fulfillment.

Keep reading

I was 19 years old the first time I tried to commit suicide. I was hospitalized and entered an inpatient program. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety, major depressive disorder, and borderline personality disorder. I was so happy to finally know what was wrong with me but then, it started to feel like a definition. Like there was no further depth to me as a person than my mental illnesses.

I was cutting myself severely and was placed into two different treatment centers for 2 months. Even after that, I felt like I was never really going to feel happy. I felt like I was never going to be whole and complete. But with time, and support from my family, friends and therapist, it started to get easier. I began to support myself.

I’m 21 years old now. I haven’t self harmed in 7 months. I haven’t been on meds for a year. I still have my rough days, but it’s become easier to push through. I know how it feels to feel alone and like there’s no way out. But to everyone out there struggling, you are not alone. It does start to become easier to cope. Please reach out and please always remember that you are loved.