Suicide Attempt Survivor
I have survived a number of suicide attempts, each subsequent one being more severe than the preceding, and the last one being a little over a year ago, just weeks before Robin Williams’s suicide.
I pray every day for God to let me die because the same things if not worse are still true: I am even more underemployed than before, collecting disability; I still don’t know what to do with the rest of my life; etc. I just wish I knew why I was spared and so many have not been, why so many so much younger than I have died and I haven’t, and so on. I can’t stand the the thought of being alive another 20 or thirty years (I am over 50).
It’s unfair to my wife and daughter, but that is how I feel, and a year in therapy hasn’t really changed it.