Suicide Prevention Month--You Are Not Alone

Suicide Prevention Month–You Are Not Alone

In honor of Suicide Prevention Week, I’d like to take a stand and share my own story. I think sharing it can help eliminate stigma and possibly help people become more compassionate towards others they don’t understand and also educate people so you see that not all those with mental illness are dangerous murderers.

I have have Bipolar Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder with PTSD. My mental illness appeared during puberty and that was around the time I first tried to commit suicide. I tried to commit suicide 7 or 8 times after that. It didn’t help feeling different socially as I was realizing in high school that I was gay. Having to fight those feelings and attempt to be someone I wasn’t for the sake of my family and society made my life even harder to bear. I was already suffering with depression and anxiety that literally ate me up inside.

The anxiety felt like bugs crawling on my skin and I was praying to shed it. I couldn’t escape the depression that was swallowing me alive all the while I was involved in sports and using the utmost discipline to function and continue. My mind was wrapped with thoughts of death and each day you struggle to find a reason to want to live. You don’t understand why you feel this way. You only wish for a way out. You feel alone and different and no one seems to see you. You cry alone and you find coping mechanisms to fit in daily.

My way has always been humor or later it became substances. I used alcohol to feel normal, self-medicating. I couldn’t accept that I was gay. I couldn’t go out and interact without drinking. Everything was hard and every breath became painful to take. My friends couldn’t have known how far I was sinking. My family was tormented with their own issues as I was slowly falling deeper into an abyss of dark sadness.

I spent my 20’s in a blur of alcohol, drugs and failed relationships. In my 30’s I started to get a grip. I was seeing psychiatrist after psychiatrist I saw psychologists and had several mental hospital stays. You are put on drugs that change who you are and you learn a new kind of hell along with the one that has already brought you to your knees. You learn to research and educate yourself. You pray to God all the time. In the end it is He who walks beside you. And in the end you stand. I stand and I have overcome so much. It’s still hard I’ll always have this illness. People say it isn’t who you are but it is who I am. So please don’t shun people with a struggle or who seem different. You don’t know what they struggle with or what demons are pulling at their shirt tail. And not all people with mental illness are dangerous or killers. We all have our own stories.

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From a Dark Hole to My Redemption and Light

Hello, I have always thought that sharing my story with the mental health community is important to bring hope to others that are just like me.

I’m a 37 year old divorced mother of two boys. I have been in therapy of some kind or another since I was 7 years old. Mental illness runs in my family as well as substance abuse addiction. I believe I was born with my many disorders that progressed and worsened as I got older, abused illegal drugs, prescribed medication and had my children. In my early childhood I showed all the many signs of OCD. I also grew up in an extremely chaotic family where my mother suffered terribly with her own mental illness that was never acknowledged or treated and an emotionally absent father. My two older siblings coped with this by using and abusing drugs and my older sister was put into rehab when I was seven. My older brother simply moved away and is still an addict today covering up his own mental health issues. My younger sister was extremely emotionally disturbed and would act out violently towards my parents but especially towards me. She would later become a drug addict for many years and thankfully entered recovery 4 ½ years ago.

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Motivation and Hope

I have been struggling with mental illness from a young age. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, adhd, ocd, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, psychogenic seizures, and a learning disability. I also am I recovering addict. I would like to spread my story to those in need to show them that the darkness does fade as long as you have the strength to flip the light. The goal is to inspire everyone but if that is not possible I aim to touch at least one person.

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A Cautionary Tale About Psychotropics, the Industry, and How They Can Worsen Mental Illness

I first began to experience symptoms of bipolar disorder in my early teens. i was put on Lithium while in a hospital and right away the almost catatonic depression I was in began to ease. From there on in, it seemed medication would be the answer to everything that was wrong with me. For years i was on every depression medication available, tricyclics, MAO inhibitors–when one stopped working, I was simply put on something else. Then things got better and I needed no medication through my twenties. i still struggled with lows, but there were no suicide attempts, I was able to live and love, to work and, for the most part, even enjoy life. Then, at the age of 29 I had a manic episode and my medication nightmare began.

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My Journey

I have been with my mental illness since 2004. It has been a great struggle for me, but through lots of challenges I seem to keep it together and finished school. I suffer a dual diagnosis, bipolar disorder, ptsd, panic and anxiety attacks and substance use disorder. I been in a seven year remission. Despite all my mental challenges I’ve been through some other things also like abuse due to my mental illness. It’s been a journey but I keep strong and keep going. Ain’t no way I will let anyone break me. I’ve come too far in recovery

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My fight with bipolar disorder is a daily battle. As a mother, step-mother, and wife I try my best to stay strong for my family. Everyone has their demons, but mine sit on my shoulders, never letting me rest. There are times I want to leave everything and disappear. There are times when I throw things and scream, but what gives me hope are the times my family tells me they love me, and it will be okay. I have tried tons of different meds and therapy, with no luck, but i know if I keep pushing through I will survive. Keep your head up, kiss your scars, and smile, because it’s the first day of the rest of your life.

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There is hope. Trigger Warning

I just want the world to know that no matter what or who you are, there’s hope.

We don’t walk around with a bandaid on our head, mental illness is much more complicated than that. They say we’re not alone but sometimes I rather be. But I know that I can’t do this alone and neither can you, with the human condition we need to be able to relate to each other.

The truth is that I’ve been very sick for a very long time, and treating it has always been like a full-time job that I can never seem to get right. I quit it when I was 14 and then again at 29, but I’m still here. I didn’t expect to make it to 30 and I was ok with that, but here I am at 30 and don’t understand how or why. I’m confused, afraid, and angry all of the time. Still don’t know what’s real and what

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You Are Not Alone

Hello all,

My name is Isabel and I have been diagnosed with Manic Bipolar Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Schizophrenia, Depression, Paranoia and have pretty bad anxiety. I suppose I thought of writing this because having a mental illness eats up the joy in life. I have been struggling since I could remember, especially because these “disorders” are apart of my genetic history. Family members have given themselves to alcohol and drugs ; unfortunately that includes myself. There is so much I want spill because it has taken me a long time to realize that there is millions of people out there too that suffer from disorders. At certain occasions I feel alone in this world because of the illness(s). Please for the sake of yourself, loved ones even strangers at times, there is going to be hope. Self harm does harm, food isn’t always comforting, and drugs/alcohol are never the answer.

Just know that someone is always willing to listen, especially me. The hotline that NAMI provides is AMAZING! Use it to your best advantages. Love you guys.

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I write to tell my family’s journey with Mental Illness.

Our daughter, now 32, began to show symptoms of Bipolar Disorder (although we did not know it as such) after middle school and on into high school. Lana was a wonderfully happy, intelligent, funny and pleasant child for all of her growing up years. They as she entered into adolescence the “expected” acting out began. It was so difficult to know what was “normal” in a 12-14 year old due to changing brain and body chemistry. Lana’s anger, highs and lows were also fueled by a series of losses in her life. Pets, grandparents, aunts, uncles and two of her best friends all passed away within a 3-4 year period of time. Lana tried to keep and maintain friendships but it was so challenging for her what with mood swings and volatile sleep patterns.

Our family attended counseling together and separately. The sibling relationship with her brother (one year older) was also very dysfunctional. Overall, our family was breaking apart and far from the loving, caring environment I so wanted for my children. My husband and I were at a loss as to what to do. We attended counseling and, of course, were frequently blamed for poor parenting. Lana was a bright student and graduated from high school early. She had begun a local modeling career (obsession) and before we knew it was off to Europe (we had traveled there several times previously and have family there so she was not stranger to international travel and fiercely independent) to try her career out abroad.

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I AM UNIQUE AND A BEAUTIFUL PERSON WITH MENTAL ILLNESS

MY NAME IS MAUREEN AND I TODAY KNOW I AM NOT ALONE. FOR SO MANY YEARS I BEEN INSTITUTIONALIZED FOR “drugs and alcohol” Depression WAS TOUCHED A LITTLE BIT. THE ALCOHOL AND DRUGS WAS A BIG PART, IT WAS NOT THE CORE OF IT ALL, IT WAS JUST THE SYMPTOM . MENTAL ILLNESS IS THE CORE.

I WAS A LONELY, SCARED, DEPRESSED, LITTLE GIRL AND LOT OF ANGER. MY PARENTS ALWAYS WENT TO PARENT MEETINGS, WONDERING WHATS WRONG WITH MAUREEN. I WENT THROUGH A LOT OF TESTS AND REHABS, UNTIL THE AGE OF 18. NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT WAS ONLY THE BEGINNING. I NEVER FIT IN ANYWHERE AT SCHOOL OR OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL. I DID PLAY SPORTS AND I WAS GOOD AT IT, WHAT A GREAT RELEASE.

I HAVE BEEN IN JAIL, QUITE A FEW TIMES PSYCHIATRIC UNITS , HOSPITALS, ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS,NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS, SO MUCH PRIVATE THERAPY. I WAS ABUSED SEXUALLY 4 YEARS OLD OR SO, AND THAT CAME UP IN A INTENSE THERAPY GROUP. PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL,NEGLECT. I WAS HOMELESS FOR ONE YEAR AND A HALF, AND GOT SO MUCH STRENGTH AND HOPE FROM THAT. THEIR WAS HOMELESS WOMEN COME UP TO ME WONDERING WHY I LOOK SO AT PEACE WITH MYSELF?

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My Life Dealing with Schizophrenia

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Anyway, now I’m with friends that help me through it and understand.

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NAMI - You are Not Alone — Suicide Prevention Month--You Are Not Alone

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

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