This year has been the year I’ve really worked on my recovery and my overall mental health. From a very young age I was depressed, fascinated with death and constantly anxious. I developed major body image issues as a child that turned into an eating disorder. I grew up with a biological father who was an addict, alcoholic, abusive and mentally ill with Bipolar Disorder.

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My mental health struggles began at only 15 years old I got bullied for years since the third grade it wasn’t bad then but it got bad in junior high name calling, rumors spread about me, made fun of for my braces on my teeth, made fun of for being of German descent and more. By eighth grade I hope things would get better and they did. I graduated eighth grade and had hopes high school would be better boy was I totally wrong about that! The first few weeks were great then then bullying started again this time it was a group of girls different ages who wanted to make each day a living nightmare and made me hate high school. They made fun of my outfits or that I wore leggings, laughed at me and talked about me behind my back, bullied me in the gym during the homecoming assembly, called me names. My breaking point came in 2010 in February after so many months of relentless teasing from those girls I became depressed and thought of suicide for the first time but the school social worker convinced me to stay alive. I continued to get bullied though and those thoughts were still there. I fought those thoughts as hard as I could but I was only 15 and the bullying had been going on too long. On March 19th, 2010 as I was leaving physical science class one of those girls who had been bullying me for months said something I never thought I would hear. That caused me to go somewhere I never thought I’d be. I survived that difficult journey but not without more struggles that followed. I continued to get bullied after March and then the rest of my high school years sophomore and junior year and Senior year and still struggled with more thoughts of suicide and then also self harm. I fell into a deeper depression at 16 and also struggled with body image issues and food issues and came close to developing an eating disorder at 17. I also came out at 16 as bisexual which increased bullying at school and then occurred online. I also got cyberbullied by classmates on Facebook various ways. I felt powerless and couldn’t escape the hate. I somehow made it through that too and also graduated high school. I then started college in fall of 2013 during that time I lost a professor and also my only living grandpa I had left. I fell into a deep depression again and had a relapse into self harm again I decided to do research because I was feeling really broken and lost and felt that perhaps I was dealing with something more than regular depression. I immediately recognized that I had lots of the signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder type 1. I started experiencing psychosis but it didn’t last long it went away and hasn’t came back since. I had episodes of mania/manic episodes and spent money on clothes I didn’t really need, bought Starbucks or some other pricey drink multiple days during the week and went through my money or points for food and drinks on my college card too fast and so much more. I had to do counseling and cognitive behavioral therapy it took a long time but with time I learned better coping skills and also was recommended to see the campus psychologist or psychiatrist whichever one diagnoses someone with a mental illness. In January of 2014, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 at only 19 years old. I was recommended to take lithium and an anti depressant. I decided against them because the side effects but now at 23 years old I am thinking maybe I should try to find a med cocktail both an anti depressant and mood stabilizer that works for me. It’s been a long journey but I am a fighter and warrior now and still have sometimes slip up and relapse but I am currently doing well in recovery but some days are harder than others. I have been doing many things to help me cope with the highs and lows of it but do think maybe some meds could help me on my bad days. I’m just afraid of the effects. I hope my story can help someone else struggling and inspire someone to reach out for help or maybe just find it as a story they can relate to.

I just want to talk to people about my mental health struggles throughout my life and how I’ve overcome each and everyone of these hurdles and how I could be inspiration to others. Through the power of open and honest communication and never giving up on oneself I’ll be honored to talk about my struggles but also my hope that I can give people that are struggling today day with things that they cannot control in the midst of the coronavirus

I have overcame so much in my life, childhood trauma and abuse,foster care, drug addiction, homelessness, incarceration, and mental illness. In 2016 I sought treatment for bipolar disorder, I also decided to pursue my undergraduate degree in psychology on a pursuit to become an Licensed Professional Counselor, I want to provide affordable treatment to those that need it most in our society. I am now in graduate school studying mental health counseling. I could not have done this without my medications, they saved my life and changed me for the better. 

My doctor described my diagnosis to me in this way: I’m a 78 RPM person trying to function in a 33 1/3 world. For you baby boomers, you’ll know what I mean. If you’re younger than a baby boomer and don’t understand the analogy, ask your parents to explain it to you.

When I’m manic, I’m like the energizer bunny. Always going. Creating something. Wanting something. 

Right after I got diagnosed, I jumped into crafts and started making these little wooden window seats.

I didn’t create one or two, or a few. I created dozens. And dozens. And boxes full. I obsessed over getting every single wooden window seat in the Tampa area so I could make something out of it. Then I wanted a puppy. (Thank goodness my husband saw fit to tell me no at that time) Then I jumped into soap making. I made pounds and pounds of soap. (All of this is in less than a week.)

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I have been depressed for over 20 years and have been medicated with many different times.  My mother was bipolar and didn’t take her medications all the time so she experienced lots of ups and downs.  I believe in treating mental health issues and even though I am still on the road to recovery and finding the right medication, I fully believe people need to get help (either meds, counseling or both). I saw what it did for my mother - which eventually plays a part in her passing…  I have gone through different situations the last 20 years such as infertility, grandmother’s Alzheimer’s, mother’s bipolar, dad’s cancer, empty nest and husband getting very ill and is now disabled and is having memory issues plus his own mental health challenges.  But through it all, I know God is with me and I get through each day with God, the love of my husband, kids, family and dogs.  I am open to talking or sharing my experiences if it will help others to cope. Thanks for all you do!

I have had bipolar disorder for as long as I can remember and I even when I got depressed I never thought of suicide what my outlet is watching movies or tv because I also have cable whether I am happy or  depressed I have a great outlet so I don’t get suicidal. Plus I am compliant with my medication regiment

I’m MERLIN.I have been dealing with mental health issues for many years, more than 25+ .I have taken all different kinds of of meds and have tried to stop taking meds more than 8 times and have ended up in the hospital.a mental health hospital can be a scary place but the people are trained and are there to assist you with your recovery.Since dealing with mental health issues over 25+ years I have decided to turn the tables on MENTAL HEALTH and train to be a PEER SUPPORT ADVOCATE.i want to help other people dealing with mental health issues and let them know that there is light at the end of the road and what they are going through is only temporary.i want to share my faith and help educate,inpire,coach and be an example to others.medication and counseling 

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My name is Paulissa Kipp.  My address of 1 Paulissa Kipp Place is shared with bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder.  My life has been marked by child abuse, domestic violence, rape and traumatic brain injury.  Each of the things that has happened to me has left a mark and comprises a trauma response and mental health impact that poses a challenge on a daily basis.  

My mental health challenges show up as agitation, a need to know where exits are, severe social anxiety in which I find crowds and the noise associated with them overwhelming, physiological responses to triggers that remind of trauma, a high startle response and at times, nightmares.

Mental health is a part of whole health.  When it is treated as such, individuals are able to move toward wellness.  Recovery and stabilization require many things:  connection versus isolation, sometimes medication, therapy when appropriate, vulnerability to address triggers, breakdowns, warning signs and many other tools.  I have found having a Wellness Recovery Action Plan crucial, art journaling, breathing and grounding exercises, physical exercise, peer support, speaking my truth, medication, meditation, white noise apps and yoga to be parts of my passionate self care that support my well-being.

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