Speaking Out
The point of why I’m writing here is to say, “Absolutely Not!” to speak up and stand up for myself and against perpetuating the stigma of having a mental illness. I am 41 years old and yesterday I went to my doctor to get new meds for a persistent chest cold. I have been coping with a sinus infection that has worsened into bronchitis. Along with this, two months ago I received my first neurological psych evaluation, the diagnoses which have been on my mind recently. I have low levels of ADD, anxiety and depression. It also said that I have a high probability of being on the bi-polar spectrum, however the tests I underwent do not specifically test for Bi-Polar disorder. I have had a history of depressive periods, trichotillomania and an unsteady work history. I also have vaso vega syncope which means I overthink having blood drawn at the Dr.’s office and pass out.
So yesterday when investigating my chest cold, my doctor wanted to take a blood test and I said no, that I had not drank enough liquids and I needed to be warned before, because I had vaso vega syncope. Then he told me it’s all in my head, that I was doing this to myself and proceeded to tell me to lie down, pull the table out from under my legs and try looking for veins. I got up and refused. He told me outright I was mentally ill and this truly upset the sh** out of me. I became very angry but the rest of the visit continued. Afterwards, he made several snarky, disrespectful comments but I did get the medications I need and am now starting to feel better.
This doctor is known for being meticulous and he has helped me through many medical issues in the past. So he is a good doctor, although I’ve noticed he does not listen to me, the patient, and he does not like to be challenged. I think over the years, I’ve learned more about the healthcare I want for my body and realize that his values and mine are no longer in sync. Based on yesterday, I find it unprofessional he should label me as mentally ill and nearly force me to take a blood test when I know the steps I have to take to be “ready.” These are to drink plenty of fluids; think about the plan of action I will take and have an experienced phlebotomist draw my blood. I’m angry because I didn’t say anything to justify needing certain accommodations and I’m disappointed in myself for letting him stigmatize me, not so much through using the term mentally ill but by using this term for this situation which could be avoided with more time, explanation and patience. I’m honestly not so sure if vaso vega syncope qualifies as a symptom of mental illness. It’s upsetting because given my recent diagnoses (which my doctor knows nothing about), I am mentally ill and I feel weakened by this. I will not go back to this doctor and plan to write him a respectful letter stating my reasons. No one, especially a professional, respected male doctor should be able to mistreat patients, especially a female, and get away with it!