Navigating the Ups and Downs of Life: An Update
Almost two years ago, I submitted my story for the You Are Not Alone project. I wanted to submit an update to give more people with a mental health condition hope.
As a refresher for those who vaguely remember my post or for those who did not see it, I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Like many other people with Borderline Personality Disorder, I had suicide attempts; psych hospitalizations; substance abuse issues; and low self esteem, among many other feelings. I managed to complete college after seven years and was able to become licensed as a nurse.
Within the almost two years time that has elapsed, I have found employment as a nurse and have been working in the nursing field for a little over a year and a half. I was able to save up enough money from my job to buy a house, something I had wanted for a very long time.
Everything has not been perfect, however. I moved away from my hometown, which now is a blessing for me, but at the time was hard as I did not know anyone in my new area. In addition, my dad became very ill and ended up passing away. I felt very scared that I would relapse with regards to my mental health condition. I had worked so hard to get where I was and am; I did not want to lose everything I worked so hard for, but it was a life blow I was not expecting and I was not sure how I would cope. I took everything day by day, much like I did in early recovery. I found strength and resiliency that I did not even realize I had. I made sure I continued hobbies, especially working on my house, and stayed in touch with newly made friends, at the same time allowed myself space to grieve. Self care became very important to me. A former boyfriend of mine accused me of being self centered because I put my well being first.
Self care is not being self centered. Remember, when you get on a plane, they always say to put your oxygen mask on before you help anyone else. You cannot throw anyone else a life preserver if you are drowning yourself.