Hello, I’m Phil. I’m a member of NAMI Baltimore and a Disabled U.S. Marine Corps Vet Living with Bipolar Disorder, Major Depression, P.T.S.D. and A.D.D. and I’d like to share part of my recovery story.

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I have BPD and major depression with anxiety features.  I have been in active recovery for a year now.  What do I mean by active recovery?  I am not cured, and by no means able to stop taking my meds or following my treatment plan.  I have worked really hard and with support have reached a point in my life, were I can take a step back and realize life is worth it.  I no longer struggle every day nor is my mental illness controlling my life anymore.  Mental illness is just a petal on the beautiful rose that makes me, me.  It is worth all the effort and struggles.  I know everyone has a different level of recovery, and that is okay.  We are all unique and bring to the world our own beauty.  Never give up on yourself. You are so worth it, even if you do not feel it. One day you will be the one to post about your recovery.  Never stop trying, even if for that moment all you can do is cry, as long as you chose today to live one more minute you are fighting a battle and that is sometimes all you can do.  But you are doing it and that is all that matters.  Courage after all is sometimes the little voice in your head that says, tomorrow I will try again. 

First diagnosed at 16, depression has haunted my life off and on since. After the death of a family member, I spiraled into a deep depression. It included many years of hospitalizations and treatment. Finally, I began to untangle the root causes of my depression and to find a path to my recovery. It was extremely helpful to have advocacy training and a job working with a consumer-run advocacy agency who believed in my ability to contribute. Even the thought that I had something worth sharing with others caused a huge shift in my self-esteem. Eventually I became certified as a Peer Specialist and have had two job positions where I shared my story and worked with others to find their own paths to recovery. 

Though I was told I would be ‘sick’ forever and never work again, this has been proved to be totally false. Today, I don’t focus on a being a diagnosis but rather managing a disease that I experience as depression. Truly being able to give back to others has profoundly affected my own recovery. Belonging to organizations such as NAMI has helped me spread the word about the stigma of having a mental health diagnosis. The support of family, friends and others in treatment have meant the world to me. To anyone out there, you are definitely not alone, and there is always hope. 

I surprised myself (and my family and friends) by recovering  in the last few years from an at times serious depression of about 20 years.

I knew our family had a bio-chemical pre-disposition towards depression.  When I was a junior in high school my mother was hospitalized for depression.  She was at the National Institutes for Mental Health in a program that was one of the first trials for using medication for bi-polar disorder.  She recovered in time for my high school graduation in 1969 – and definitely recovered her mental health for the rest of her life.  And for years afterwards she continued taking her lithium, going to her support group and talked openly about her mental illness, and helped many others.

Later on, one of my older brothers had several occurrences of bi-polar disorder, and even for awhile both my twin brother (who is ‘intellectually challenged’) and myself were on the same medications for anxiety and depression. Neither of us are now on any psychotropic medications – and while my older brother and my mother were diagnosed as bi-polar, myself and my twin brother were not. (The oldest brother in our family never has had any problems with depression.)

Family:

As I mentioned, I have a twin brother who is severely intellectually disabled and is non-verbal.  My mother was very active in the field of mental retardation.  Richy looked normal at birth with big eyes and a big head, but when I was starting to talk and he wasn’t my parents took him for tests.  Although he has no other physical problems, he was diagnosed with “severe brain damage.”  He went to a different nursery school than me and to live-away schools in the country but came home for vacations.  But there were times when someone would say to me:  “Oh, you are the lucky one!” which sometimes gave me “survivor guilt.”

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My name is Eileen.  I am a 60-year-old happily married woman with one daughter and a successful career. I suffered from mental health disorders starting in my early twenties with panic attacks, Pre and Postpartum Depression, followed by on and off moderate depression throughout my thirties, and a major depressive episode at age 41 when I finally hit rock bottom.  I have had good mental health since I was about 43 years old.  I credit this good health to many things; support from family and friends, the right medication, seeing a good therapist, (by good I mean one that fits your needs), taking care of my physical health and yes, faith that the universe basically has my back.  But for me, even with all the resources I had, full recovery was not possible until I accepted two big facts of life.  Fact one, I Cannot Control everything that happens in my life.  Fact two, I am an Imperfect Human Being who happens to be predisposed to mental illness.  The acceptance of these two facts did not happen overnight and so recovery did not happen overnight.  But it did happen.  Recovery will be different for you, but it CAN happen for you too if you PERSEVERE.  You MUST persevere to truly know how wonderful life can be. 

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I live with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and I had a big depression months ago, which I’m dealing with now again, but it’s more like depressive phases now. I have therapy since 2 years ago and it really helped me and still. I also did cut myself before, when I was depressed, and I had suicidal thoughts. Sometimes, when I’m in a depression phase, all I wanna do is cut myself, or kill myself, and I thought about suicide before. But I stay strong and I keep fighting my demons and my negative thoughts. When I started developpe anxiety disorder, few years ago (like 4), I was stressed all the times, I had a sort of social anxiety, which I have not really anymore now, and I became really shy, and I had lost confidence in myself. Also I threw up of stress (so I have medication for that), and I had eczema (still but less). Because of depression and anxiety I ate a lot and, God thanks, I’ve take “only” around 5 kilos. That’s a lot for me, because I thought I was fat and ugly, but I could take mooore so I’m thankful for that. I can do sport and eat better to lost that weight in like 2 months, so I’ll start leaving more healthy.

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My name is Mike Logan Stubbs. I’m a 28-year-old from England. I suffer from depression and mental health issues which I believe have haunted me for nearly six years now.

My depression got so bad four months ago, I attempted to take my own life and was hospitalized.

I felt like no matter what I did, I would always feel this way (depressed). I can get so low, like the flick of a switch, when my depression is at its worst and unfortunately cannot control it.

When I got out of hospital, with the support of my family, I made it my mission to get better — and the best way to express my emotions is through music. Through music I feel like a “normal” person and feel it is my best therapy.

My experience with depression and fighting it inspired me to raise awareness through music. Listening to other bands and artists also helps me, especially when the lyrics are meaningful! My favorite artists and inspiration range from Metallica, Phil Collins and even classical music. The experience of attempting suicide inspired me to not only help myself, but to help others who feel the same as me.

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