Hello, I have always thought that sharing my story with the mental health community is important to bring hope to others that are just like me.

I’m a 37 year old divorced mother of two boys. I have been in therapy of some kind or another since I was 7 years old. Mental illness runs in my family as well as substance abuse addiction. I believe I was born with my many disorders that progressed and worsened as I got older, abused illegal drugs, prescribed medication and had my children. In my early childhood I showed all the many signs of OCD. I also grew up in an extremely chaotic family where my mother suffered terribly with her own mental illness that was never acknowledged or treated and an emotionally absent father. My two older siblings coped with this by using and abusing drugs and my older sister was put into rehab when I was seven. My older brother simply moved away and is still an addict today covering up his own mental health issues. My younger sister was extremely emotionally disturbed and would act out violently towards my parents but especially towards me. She would later become a drug addict for many years and thankfully entered recovery 4 ½ years ago.

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I was diagnosed with a mental illness at the age of 19. I am now 62. Not only have I suffered from mental illness I have struggled with the stigma of having mental illness for 43 years now.  I was diagnosed with acute depression, PTSD and bi-polar disorder and I became very much overwhelmed - alone, lost and hopeless. I was seriously contemplating suicide. Someone suggested that I investigate the services available at my local chapter of NAMI. 

I understand that I can never be completely cured of mental illness but with the help of the advocates at NAMI my ‘situation’ was stabilized and there is now hope in my life. In addition to the regular psychiatric care I I receive I attend weekly sessions with a ‘Life Coach’ from NAMI as a client of a program they administer called 'Self-Directed Care’. In addition to the one-on-one counseling I am offered specific goal-oriented financial assistance that helps me pay for my treatment and psychiatric medications and in developing and implementing a plan of action who’s goal is to make me self-sufficient and no longer dependent on the welfare system. 

Whether I eventually succeed or not is still in question and a lot depends on me, but the fact is that today I have a real chance to make a contribution to society instead of being a drain on it. Without NAMI I would be just another mental patient wandering without direction and chances are that I would continue to be in and out of inpatient psychiatric facilities - the perpetual 'revolving door’. Thanks to you and your support of NAMI and the great people there I now have a chance to live a healthier, happier, more productive life.  More of a blessing than a burden.  Thank you.  

My father was a drug addict, paranoid schizophrenic, dealer and hoarder.

Growing up was traumatic to say the least, I ended up moving out at age 15.

Currently I am 28, a father to be, high school teacher and martial arts instructor.

My whole life I have been dealing with depression, anxiety and other mental health concerns.

I found that the best therapy came from writing my story, first in the form of poetry then in a book. Even if you only write for your self, please do it. It will help!

            My name is Lorenzo Aguilera. I am a United States Army Veteran seeking mental health for issues that the Veteran Affairs declares is not “army related”. My goal is to reach out to someone, anyone that can hear me out about my current mental status dealing with life, my financial difficulties, my high stress/anxiety, high levels of depression, and thoughts of suicide, mood swings, constant nightmares, and everyday irritability.

            I first decided to join the U.S. Army upon witnessing on national television the twin towers going down. I remember thinking, “How and why could anyone do this? Something must be done!”, as I sat in my Biology class as a freshman at Riverside High School in El Paso, TX. I knew then that I had made up my mind. After I graduated, I gave college a shot for one year and was successfully achieving above a 3.0 GPA while I was a cook at a local Denny’s Restaurant. I guess the closeness I had to my mother was an attachment harder to let go than I thought however, she confessed that her blessing for my interest in the military was prayed for, and therefore, in August of 2005, 5 days after my birthday, I was on a plane to Ft. Knox, KY, home of Cavalry Scout basic training and AIT.

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1. I’ve had anxiety since 1st grade, depression since I was 11 years old. This was in the 1960’s and 1970’s. Nobody talked about, understood or even knew about mental illness. It was referred to as “growing pains”.
2. Unfortunately, I wasn’t diagnosed until the early 1990’s; also with compulsive overeating, bulimia, borderline personality disorder, relationship/male dependency, survivor of mental, physical and sexual abuse and rape, codependency, PTSD, attention deficit disorder, self harm (cutting), suicide attempts, etc. 
3. When finally diagnosed, mental illness was still not really recognized by insurance companies. Therefore, receiving proper treatment was limited and frustrating. I’m sad and angry that I wasn’t able to get the help I so desperately needed as a child, my life might have been brighter growing up. 
4. I was finally able to receive therapy along with medications to help cope with mental illness. It is still a struggle. Couple of times my medications stopped being effective and I struggled with depression and anxiety. My doctor and I kept trying different medications and ECT’s (Electro Convulsive Therapy) until we found a combination of medications that worked. The ECT’S didn’t help me, but I know friends that find them very helpful. It gets difficult at times, just keep working with your doctor/therapist and there is a light at the end of the dark tunnel.
5. I’m very glad that children and teens are able to be diagnosed early and can get treatment so they have a chance to a brighter future. Even though we still struggle with the stigma of mental illness, times have sure changed since I was a child.

I feel like an alien, I don’t belong, I don’t want to be here, I’m not made for this earth, nobody understands what it’s like because you just can’t put it into words and even when you can you feel like a burden or like you’re crazy or attention seeking.
You know everything and yet you know nothing, constantly questioning who you are because once you think you know that illness comes tapping at your door and you suddenly feel lost again.
From a troubled past of bullying and being made to feel so small and insignificant, guilt trips, abuse, neglect, abandonment, death, violence, a broken home and self harm..
Nothing has ever felt like home.
Always thinking about giving up, never being good enough, wanting to fit in and be loved but at the same time all you want it to be left alone and not hurt anyone.
Being completely fine one day then losing control the next.
Locking yourself away and shutting everyone out and then when you’re finally alone you get hit with depression and crave someone to pull you out.
Problems with your self image and having to grow up too quick.
Abusive or unstable relationships where they react in a way which triggers the things you try so hard to keep hidden away.
Begging and crying to friends, family, hospitals, councillors and doctors to please just fix me I can’t take any more of this.

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My name is Abbey and mental illness is something that I’ve struggled with for years. I’ve been diagnosed with several mental illnesses, such as depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder and Bipolar II. I’ve found peace and comfort from sharing my story through writing blogs and poetry, and sharing my story on social media sites. My goal in life is to inspore someone, anyone, and let them know that they are not alone in their struggles and that I want to support anyone in need of support and to be a mentor and someone others can look to for guidance. Even though I  still struggle greatly, I find hope and comfort from sharing my story. I hope that I can be a light in someone else’s life and be there for someone in the same way others have been for me. Support from friends and family that I can relate to truly has saved my life and made me feel safe when talking about my struggles, and I would love to pass down my personal struggles to help guide others through their struggles as well.

I’ve been living with mental illness since early teens,I’m in 50s now..I’ve been in and out of hospitals,counseling all those yrs.to many to count..some doing more damage than help…Diagnosed w recurrent major depression,BPD,anxiety,ptsd.etc……..I don’t see the good in life or people..I suffer and I know the stigma and that doesn’t help ,nor does the insurance problem . My latest suicide attempt was this year, ive been put on court ordered counseling and meds.my secondary insurance stopped and that’s the one that pd for counseling,once again Im in yet another counselors office…I don’t trust anybody so this is not easy but this guy I already feel may be different,cause I’ve been used,given up on,harmed by many many counselors…For the first time in 35+yrs of countless treatments,counselors I’m hearing,We care,were here for you,were not in it for the money,it’s cause we care,we don’t want you hurting/killing yourself,we want you to take it moment by moment and live a better life and fight..we want to be here for you..That is something I’ve needed to here but havent.EVER..Maybe there might be a tiny bit of hope,maybe I can try getting back up and fighting w this therapist help…I don’t know cause it’s only been a few wks…But also w insurance issue I can’t get some meds that are mandated,and I can not afford…It’s so wrong cause I know there’s alot like me,where we need treatment and meds to keep not only stable but to maybe have hope

TO ANYONE WITH ANY MENTAL ILLNESS OF ANY AGE:

(you don’t have to be in middle school)

Middle School’s known to be some of the hardest years of our lives, between hormones and homework it’s tough enough to make it through without mental health and the stigma it so often carries. As it’s impossible to make it through a class without someone making a joke about a mental illness either a friend of mine or I have, I’ve come to a certain conclusion. Teenagers will be teenagers, it shouldn’t be that way, it shouldn’t be an excuse to kidding about things that people truly struggle with on a daily basis, but it is. Sometimes things in life are just stupid, but we can’t let that get to us.

I’m a 13 (almost 14) year old in the ignorant year of 8th grade, towards the end of last year a few things in life went really, really wrong, and it resulted in a series of unfortunate events (no pun intended). Basically, by the time 8th grade started, I had not only experienced my fair share of panic attacks, gone to a therapist several times, but I had also been diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. I had basically hidden from my entire grade during the summer, so as school started up again and I was struck by a mass of indirect insults towards my mental illnesses, let’s just say there was a lot of tears at the beginning of the year.

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7 years ago I was plagued with an overwhelming reign of fear, confusion, anxiety and depression, to the point of suicide. I now know that my demise was the onset of schizophrenia. After several attempts with suicide and hospital visits I was finally referred to a mental health physician. He evaluated me with any insight and information I could give him. Unfortunately I was too paranoid to put all my trust in the doctors. I thought if I admitted all my ailments I would get locked away for good. 

It took 4 years for me to get diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic, mean while for the next four years living in unimaginable fear of everything. I was originally diagnosed as depressed. I can’t begin to explain the depression fear and confusion within these next 4 years but things kept getting worse and I didn’t care anymore if they locked me away. In desperation i broke down and finally admitted all my symptoms and relief was at my doorstep. 

My doctor was able to put me on the right medication. Don’t get me wrong it took a lot of work on both of our parts to get the right dosage of meds but perseverance paid off. Don’t give up on the meds because you don’t feel totally right or they cause side effects. Eventually these wear off and you’ll feel like you again.

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