Dear Tom Cruise: Thank you for slamming mental illness

By Allyson McAndrews, M.Ed.

“There’s no such thing as a chemical imbalance… You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do.”

 –Tom Cruise

Those words have resonated in my head since the actor publically denounced actress Brooke Shields’ decision to treat post-partum depression with medication almost ten years ago. I must have watched Mr. Cruise’s interview with Matt Lauer five times, each time finding myself more and more dumbfounded. It wasn’t so much his stance on medication that shocked me. It was his tone, demeanor, and lack of willingness for a discussion of the bigger picture of mental illness, rather than a full-blown battle.

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Hi there. My name’s Briana, and I suffer from mental illness. I really hope that sharing an overview of my story will help other people to not feel so alone. Here goes:

I began therapy when I was about seven, and I’ve been in it ever since. I also take a few different medications to help ease my symptoms; in fact, I’m still trying to find the right combo of meds that works for me. I’ve officially been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and “bipolar tendencies”. My biggest struggle is with my depression, but I also suffer from really paranoid, intrusive thoughts and extreme anxiety. I’ve been hospitalized before because things have gotten bad enough where I’ve been suicidal. 

Even though that all sounds very negative, my life has not been dominated by my mental illness. I’ve been able to maintain my mental health well enough to graduate from college with two degrees. If I can do it, I sincerely believe that anyone with the willpower can too. I believe in you and your ability to overcome.

I have suffered depression and anxiety most of my life but only began being prescribed medications in the last 18 yrs. After 31 different mediation trials, I have been on a medication combination now that is making a difference in my life. I feel better than I have in years and I never lost hope that this day would come. Perfect? No. Better? Yes. I knew that there was a medication out there and that someday I would find the right one. I found that I could not give up nor could I stop pursuing whatever it took to find the right meds. It is important that if you are dealing with depression and anxiety that you lean on others and or perhaps your religion at times. The struggle has been hard for me mixed with a lot of tears but to be 50 and possibly feeling “normal” is a triumph for my personal journey. There is no “magic pill” unfortunately, it takes a combination of determination, commitment, patience, therapy and the right combination of meds to feel close to free from mental illness. I finally feel valuable, confident and worthy of where I am and everyone deserves to be there. Never give up.

            My name is Jennifer and I am a recovered mental illness survivor—

            I have endured severe mental illness for over half my life.  During that time, I suffered from clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and borderline personality disorder.

            Due to the depression, my behaviors ranged from excessive crying to excessive sleeping to suicide attempts.  I felt feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness.  All I thought I wanted to do was die.   But in fact, what I really wanted was help with overcoming my severe sadness.

            During my manic states, I endured impulsive, spontaneous, and irresponsible behaviors.  I felt on top of world.  I felt excessive amounts of energy.  I had racing thoughts.  I had delusions of grandeur.  I’ll be honest.  It felt great to be so high, but it is also very dangerous.  Risky behaviors can lead to much endangerment of self and others.

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I first began to experience symptoms of bipolar disorder in my early teens. i was put on Lithium while in a hospital and right away the almost catatonic depression I was in began to ease. From there on in, it seemed medication would be the answer to everything that was wrong with me. For years i was on every depression medication available, tricyclics, MAO inhibitors–when one stopped working, I was simply put on something else. Then things got better and I needed no medication through my twenties. i still struggled with lows, but there were no suicide attempts, I was able to live and love, to work and, for the most part, even enjoy life. Then, at the age of 29 I had a manic episode and my medication nightmare began.

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I was diagnosed with Manic Depression and Anxiety in 2011. An ambulance came to me and took me to the Emergency room when I was having suicidal behavior. From there I was admitted to the Psychiatric Hospital. I went through treatment at the hospital for a week and they diagnosed me with a mental illness. I was also prescribed medication and when I was released to go back home I went to therapy every week. I decided to be Homebound for the rest of my High School years up until I graduated in 2012 and walked across that stage to receive my Diploma. Almost 2 years ago I came off of my medication and stopped going to therapy for personal reasons and because I thought I could deal with it on my own and wanted to feel like myself again. (I also didn’t like the side effects of this medication.) Going through the ups and downs that I have over the years has definitely made me stronger, understand others and myself a little more, life, and I am able to cope better at this point. But, I still don’t believe my diagnoses was 100% accurate. At this point in my life I realize I have came along way but I still struggle every day with my confused thoughts and dark times. I know that I cannot continue to do life alone and try to deal with this myself. You have to work at it everyday and there is always room for improvement. I am taking action to plan to get involved in programs to balance life and help others and myself. I want to reach out to the community and help others who deal with mental illnesses to understand who they are and how to pave a path to bring out the best in them and in each other. I also want to educate people who do not understand mental illnesses and have not been diagnosed.

Keep the faith and keep on keeping on!

I encourage everyone to stay strong & don’t lose hope no matter what :)

I also have a powerful weapon to help me through each day… My relationship with God!

As many do, I fought the idea of mental illness and medication. At 50, I finally accepted my diagnoses and began the journey towards stability. Learning all I could about my multiple diagnosises and what I could do to help myself I faithfully began treatment, never missing an appointment nor a dose of prescribed medication. 

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Hello, I have always thought that sharing my story with the mental health community is important to bring hope to others that are just like me.

I’m a 37 year old divorced mother of two boys. I have been in therapy of some kind or another since I was 7 years old. Mental illness runs in my family as well as substance abuse addiction. I believe I was born with my many disorders that progressed and worsened as I got older, abused illegal drugs, prescribed medication and had my children. In my early childhood I showed all the many signs of OCD. I also grew up in an extremely chaotic family where my mother suffered terribly with her own mental illness that was never acknowledged or treated and an emotionally absent father. My two older siblings coped with this by using and abusing drugs and my older sister was put into rehab when I was seven. My older brother simply moved away and is still an addict today covering up his own mental health issues. My younger sister was extremely emotionally disturbed and would act out violently towards my parents but especially towards me. She would later become a drug addict for many years and thankfully entered recovery 4 ½ years ago.

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