1. I’ve had anxiety since 1st grade, depression since I was 11 years old. This was in the 1960’s and 1970’s. Nobody talked about, understood or even knew about mental illness. It was referred to as “growing pains”.
2. Unfortunately, I wasn’t diagnosed until the early 1990’s; also with compulsive overeating, bulimia, borderline personality disorder, relationship/male dependency, survivor of mental, physical and sexual abuse and rape, codependency, PTSD, attention deficit disorder, self harm (cutting), suicide attempts, etc. 
3. When finally diagnosed, mental illness was still not really recognized by insurance companies. Therefore, receiving proper treatment was limited and frustrating. I’m sad and angry that I wasn’t able to get the help I so desperately needed as a child, my life might have been brighter growing up. 
4. I was finally able to receive therapy along with medications to help cope with mental illness. It is still a struggle. Couple of times my medications stopped being effective and I struggled with depression and anxiety. My doctor and I kept trying different medications and ECT’s (Electro Convulsive Therapy) until we found a combination of medications that worked. The ECT’S didn’t help me, but I know friends that find them very helpful. It gets difficult at times, just keep working with your doctor/therapist and there is a light at the end of the dark tunnel.
5. I’m very glad that children and teens are able to be diagnosed early and can get treatment so they have a chance to a brighter future. Even though we still struggle with the stigma of mental illness, times have sure changed since I was a child.

            My name is Jennifer and I am a recovered mental illness survivor—

            I have endured severe mental illness for over half my life.  During that time, I suffered from clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and borderline personality disorder.

            Due to the depression, my behaviors ranged from excessive crying to excessive sleeping to suicide attempts.  I felt feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness.  All I thought I wanted to do was die.   But in fact, what I really wanted was help with overcoming my severe sadness.

            During my manic states, I endured impulsive, spontaneous, and irresponsible behaviors.  I felt on top of world.  I felt excessive amounts of energy.  I had racing thoughts.  I had delusions of grandeur.  I’ll be honest.  It felt great to be so high, but it is also very dangerous.  Risky behaviors can lead to much endangerment of self and others.

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I have been struggling with mental illness from a young age. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, adhd, ocd, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, psychogenic seizures, and a learning disability. I also am I recovering addict. I would like to spread my story to those in need to show them that the darkness does fade as long as you have the strength to flip the light. The goal is to inspire everyone but if that is not possible I aim to touch at least one person.

Everyone struggles with something in life. Some struggle for brief periods of time and some struggle every day. I belong to the some who struggle every day. Since I was 5 years old I have constantly struggled with mental illness. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, ADD, ADHD, PTSD, and attention deficit Disorder. My dad, step mother, and Step Father physically abused me for most of my life because they didn’t understand what I was going through and my Mother was the only person in my life to try to help me through everything I was dealing with. Unfortunately I did not trust anyone around me due to how I was treated at home and because I was constantly bullied at school because I was different. Eventually the abuse I was facing at my step fathers house led to me going into a state of shock and I tried to hurt my mother because I was so out of it and thought she was my step father. I was 15 at this point and was detained. 

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I have been diagnosed with a long list of mental illnesses. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Out of all of them, BPD affects my life the most. I have had BPD my whole life. From pre-school to elementary, I would cry the night before, the morning of, and during school because I wanted to be with my mother. One of the symptoms of BPD is fear of abandonment/paranoia of being abandoned. I did not want to be separated from my mother because I was afraid of being left behind.

Other symptoms of BPD are: feelings of extreme anger for no reason, a pattern of unstable relationships, disassociation, mood swings, depression, anxiety, impulsive dangerous behavior, feelings of emptiness, distorted and unstable self-image, and self-harm/suicidal ideations.

BPD also affects the way one thinks. They see things only as black or white - there is no gray area. In addition, people with BPD put someone they just met on a pedestal, then immediately drops them if the person says/does something they do not like/approve of. It can be the smallest thing and most times, the person has no idea that they did anything offensive. Having BPD distorts the mind, leaving the person unable to think clearly and logically.

I have burned so many bridges because of my fits of rage, my inability to handle stressful situations, and my attachment issues (fear of abandonment).
I have been in and out of the psychiatric ward at the hospital because of BPD. Every time I am released from the psychiatric ward I am hopeful and optimistic, praying that this will be the last time I will be in the psychiatric ward. Except, I always end up going back. I feel so frustrated because I am taking ten steps backwards from recovery.

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I have been suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) all my life, along with other mental illnesses. I am currently 29 years old. For the past 24 years or so, I was a freakin’ mess - it was before I was diagnosed with BPD. Before that I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I was given the BPD diagnosis when I was admitted to the psychiatric ward at the hospital for the first time (yes, I have been in and out of the psychiatric ward countless times…thank goodness for Obamacare!) I felt a HUGE relief when I learned of my diagnosis.

The day I was released I went and googled BPD and EVERY SINGLE symptom fit me to a “T”. Unstable relationships - check! Losing control of emotions - check! Fits of rage - check! Disassociation - check! Suicidal ideations - check! Self-harm - check! Distorted view of reality - check! Fear of abandonment - check! Impulsive dangerous behavior - check!

I remember crying the night before school and the mornings of, refusing to take off my pajamas, not wanting to go to school because I didn’t want to be separated from my mommy. This “phase” started when I was in pre-school and continued well into middle school.

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Hello there my name is Morgan Choice. I grew up in Syd, but for the last few years I have been living in L.A dancing professionally. Everything for the first year was going well but things started to explode….

The last two years I have been suffering severe depression, OCD, BPD (borderline personality disorder), self harm, trauma and suicide ideation, which ended with my admission into a mental institution this year in L.A.

For some time it was hard to believe and accept that the root problem for all these things could be something that happened over 10 years ago.
At age 12 my mother and I battled through a long journey of domestic violence. It’s took years to uncover details and still 10 years later not everything is clear. There were days I was certain that I didn’t want to be on this earth anymore, but I am truly thankful to have had friends around to save me.
Through this struggle I’ve met an alarming amount of people my age and older who always felt it was embarrassing to speak up. That they were afraid people would think they are weak because they didn’t stop it sooner or get out. But the main thing I believe is “YOU ARE NOT WEAK!!” You are NEVER responsible not matter what, for someone to abuse you. This I believe with all my heart.
During all this I found it therapeutic to hear others stories and set goals to one day help others. A few weeks ago i came across an organization in Australia that provides safe housing for victims suffering from domestic violence, mental health issues and homelessness.

I still find it hard everyday to feel like I’m strong but everyday I try and fight through this with acceptance and patience.

No matter what you’re going through I send you strength, courage, compassion and comfort to fight through and see the end.

I’ve been living with mental illness since early teens,I’m in 50s now..I’ve been in and out of hospitals,counseling all those yrs.to many to count..some doing more damage than help…Diagnosed w recurrent major depression,BPD,anxiety,ptsd.etc……..I don’t see the good in life or people..I suffer and I know the stigma and that doesn’t help ,nor does the insurance problem . My latest suicide attempt was this year, ive been put on court ordered counseling and meds.my secondary insurance stopped and that’s the one that pd for counseling,once again Im in yet another counselors office…I don’t trust anybody so this is not easy but this guy I already feel may be different,cause I’ve been used,given up on,harmed by many many counselors…For the first time in 35+yrs of countless treatments,counselors I’m hearing,We care,were here for you,were not in it for the money,it’s cause we care,we don’t want you hurting/killing yourself,we want you to take it moment by moment and live a better life and fight..we want to be here for you..That is something I’ve needed to here but havent.EVER..Maybe there might be a tiny bit of hope,maybe I can try getting back up and fighting w this therapist help…I don’t know cause it’s only been a few wks…But also w insurance issue I can’t get some meds that are mandated,and I can not afford…It’s so wrong cause I know there’s alot like me,where we need treatment and meds to keep not only stable but to maybe have hope

Since October 2014 after receiving therapy and meds for one year I decided to join NAMI and become more proactive about ending #stigma about suicide and mental illness, partially at the suggestion of my therapist and partially because  of my own suffering. Maybe stigma is less than it was in the 1960’s and 1970’s but it’s still alive and well. If someone in the family or in the workplace complete suicide no-one wants to talk about it its like that person never existed. I suffered suicide losses both in my family and in the workplace. Due to heredity and both family and marital abuse/neglect I suffer from BPD. Sounds like 5 words to ruin a first date: I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I am still learning how to cope with my intense feelings and how to control some of them. Posting on NAMI and attending meetings has helped me a lot.

I attended the talk by Dr. Stephen Geisler at Zucker Hillside (Queens/Nassau) where he discussed Clozapine treatment for Schizophrenia which I found interesting. I am also reading “On the Road” by  Dr.Oliver Sacks where he tells of living with stigma and of his mistakes but also his ultimate success in his chosen profession. 

Borderline personality disorder.

Hello there, my name is Leah Groom and I’d like to share my story with you today.

When I was 18 I was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder which hit me like a ton of bricks, why is this happening? Why me? What did I ever do wrong?  All sorts of questions were running through my head I was terrified and felt isolated from the rest of the world feeling like nobody would ever understand me, I shut my family out and let myself coil in self despair. Getting a diagnosis is hard but it’s also a huge relief although I felt all these extremely negative feelings I also felt like I finally had an answer.

 For many years I felt as though something was wrong, before I had my diagnosis I was a wreck. I couldn’t cope with my emotions I had this unexplainable anger inside I couldn’t understand why I felt so paranoid and hated I never wanted to be alone I clung to a very unhealthy relationship if we ever broke up I’d cry and feel suicidal and beg for him to come back I refused to sleep alone and slept with my mother if he wasn’t there, I left my work, I left education, I self harmed, I was always anxious, If I tried to sleep in my own room by myself I’d hear voices which terrified me, I never felt so alone. Desperate and fragile I reached out for help and that’s when they diagnosed me. At first I couldn’t believe what I was hearing at first to me it felt as though I was being degraded “Not so bad personality disorder” is what I referred it to. Until I actually searched up the meaning, the word borderline is used because people with this illness border between “Psychosis and neurosis”. For me this explained a lot and made me feel that there really WAS something wrong and the term “Borderline” wasn’t used to belittle my illness. As messed up and alone as I felt, worrying that the world and others around me would judge me, petrified of the stigma I reached out…

And things slowly started to change….

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