Several members of my family have struggled with mental health conditions- silently and not-so-silently. First was my father, diagnosed at 31 with schizoaffective disorder, which unfortunately became a big family secret. Because dad was ‘sick’ and I was only 13, and no one would say why he was disconnected & uncommunicative, I believed it was somehow my fault, as many adolescents do. It took years to understand his illness, but eventually my brother and I learned that it was no one’s fault: and that mental health conditions ARE health conditions and need not have a stigma attached.

I was lucky to have a great school guidance counselor…. who also helped me to seek help at 15, for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to a violent crime that I survived. I was also private about my pain, fearing abandonment or blame. Next was my own diagnosis of depression, and hard work with several wonderful psychotherapists. These amazing people have a hard job AND they sometimes save lives! They deserve recognition and pay EQUITABLE with that of other healthcare professionals!!

Gradually I learned to share my story with others. By the time I was 25, my youngest brother & sister were adopted from Romania, by my mother & stepfather. My brother was in an orphanage for his first 14 months of life, with poor living conditions, rampant disease and no nurturing. He survived undiagnosed hepatitis as an infant - with no medicine- he’s a survivor!! By age 5 in the USA he was diagnosed with ADHD, an attachment disorder, a mood disorder, and developmental delays. With special schooling, medicine & therapy, he was able to make friends, graduate high school, learn to drive, get several jobs, and lead a much better life (than would have been possible in Romania)!!

I’m now 50 and still working to stay mentally healthy and strong!! Dad was sadly diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s last year… but he’s getting good care and staying safe at a nursing facility. He battles depression too, but I am thankful that he had a great life from age 31 to 68, and with the help of a fabulous psychiatrist was able to overcome many of the challenges of schizoaffective disorder and accomplish things like: returning to school, having a fulfilling career, developing hobbies, owning a home, and helping to raise 2 children who love him dearly!

My own son, 15, was recently diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and the self-harm disorder. He is also transgender, and while that is certainly not a mental health condition, it has presented its own set of challenges. He has bravely started medication and therapy, even though trust is difficult for him. I am so proud of him, for the efforts he makes every day, to cope, and to take the best possible care of himself. He is the most outspoken of us all, and together he & I are learning to advocate to increase awareness about mental health conditions and reduce the unfair stigmas. We work with his school, and he has a great support network of friends.

My wish is this: “Hey, WORLD! It’s the 21st century already! Get your act together & recognize that mental health conditions are just like any OTHER health condition. They are NOT the patient’s ‘fault’ somehow. They are treatable and if we all work together to increase awareness, we can better lives & save lives. No more suffering in silence! Talk to others! Patients: Share your stories and your knowledge. Friends & Family : Reach out to those dealing with a mental health condition and ASK what you can do to help!!” Simple ideas, and a simple wish, but with the potential to better lives & remind us that We Are Not Alone.