MY TRD BATTLE
My Fight
I am a 46 year old man who has been suffering from Treatment-Resistant Depression (TRD, aka, Severe Intractable Depression) for as long as I can remember. I have had a full confluence of treatments ranging from neural modulation i.e Electroconvulsive Therapy, as well as Deep Brain Stimulation; this after trying about every known variety & type of medications and combinations thereof. My TRD is unfortunately very chronic, so the major barrier at this point is fighting to maintaining some semblance of hope & perseverance.
I’m currently one of 40 patients involved in a Deep Brain Stimulation clinical trial here in Toronto, focusing on the part of the brain called the cingulate gyrus (aka Area 25), where, as part of the 12 hour brain surgery procedure I had in 2013, they implanted two electrodes, one on each side of the frontal lobe, part of “The Brain Pacemaker”…
I’m a former cancer survivor as well, so I know pain and I’m a fighter, but this has gone on long enough that I just simply don’t know how much fight I have left in me. This unfortunately also affects all social interaction, confounding family & friends, who simply don’t know how to deal with the situation & disease. It is a very lonely, gruelingly painful struggle each & every day of my life.
I’m working with the best doctors, psychiatrists, psychopharmacologists and neurosurgeons, yet little to no definitive data has been collected as of yet, and everyone seems to be grasping at straws trying to keep me alive and not yet another victim of this horrid disease. (RIP: Robin Williams, Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Tony Scott, Wade Belak, Amy Winehouse, and on…….)
I am determined to find away to give myself a fighting chance. I just know what I can give back to those who’ve helped and been there for me throught it all. So I hope that this campaign, plea for unconditional support will prove successful, because it would literally mean the world. And how giving back would feel so incredible.
I’m looking for a miracle in more ways then one, and I will be most thankful, blessed and rewarded should this be given to me. It’s all about hope right? I’m due for a new deck of cards. I will devote the rest of my life as a Mental Health Advocate as well as Peer Support, writing, speaking and my podcast.

