My doctor described my diagnosis to me in this way: I’m a 78 RPM person trying to function in a 33 1/3 world. For you baby boomers, you’ll know what I mean. If you’re younger than a baby boomer and don’t understand the analogy, ask your parents to explain it to you.

When I’m manic, I’m like the energizer bunny. Always going. Creating something. Wanting something. 

Right after I got diagnosed, I jumped into crafts and started making these little wooden window seats.

I didn’t create one or two, or a few. I created dozens. And dozens. And boxes full. I obsessed over getting every single wooden window seat in the Tampa area so I could make something out of it. Then I wanted a puppy. (Thank goodness my husband saw fit to tell me no at that time) Then I jumped into soap making. I made pounds and pounds of soap. (All of this is in less than a week.)

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This year has been the year I’ve really worked on my recovery and my overall mental health. From a very young age I was depressed, fascinated with death and constantly anxious. I developed major body image issues as a child that turned into an eating disorder. I grew up with a biological father who was an addict, alcoholic, abusive and mentally ill with Bipolar Disorder.

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When I was 19 I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder after 2 years of rapid cycling between mania and depression. I had also dealt with depression for a long time, and have attempted suicide 3 times in my life. It has taken a long time to become stable, but after years of therapy and medications, I’m functioning well and have minimal impairment. I never gave up on my dreams, and now I’m 25, own a home, am halfway through nursing school with a 4.0 GPA at the top of my class, and was selected for a major scholarship to pay for the rest of school. My point is to never give up. I promised myself that when I finally put that R.N. behind my name, I will make a difference and help people who are struggling like I did. I will remind healthcare providers that those lost souls need guiding, and not judgement or whispers. Stay strong, you have a purpose. 

My mental health struggles began at only 15 years old I got bullied for years since the third grade it wasn’t bad then but it got bad in junior high name calling, rumors spread about me, made fun of for my braces on my teeth, made fun of for being of German descent and more. By eighth grade I hope things would get better and they did. I graduated eighth grade and had hopes high school would be better boy was I totally wrong about that! The first few weeks were great then then bullying started again this time it was a group of girls different ages who wanted to make each day a living nightmare and made me hate high school. They made fun of my outfits or that I wore leggings, laughed at me and talked about me behind my back, bullied me in the gym during the homecoming assembly, called me names. My breaking point came in 2010 in February after so many months of relentless teasing from those girls I became depressed and thought of suicide for the first time but the school social worker convinced me to stay alive. I continued to get bullied though and those thoughts were still there. I fought those thoughts as hard as I could but I was only 15 and the bullying had been going on too long. On March 19th, 2010 as I was leaving physical science class one of those girls who had been bullying me for months said something I never thought I would hear. That caused me to go somewhere I never thought I’d be. I survived that difficult journey but not without more struggles that followed. I continued to get bullied after March and then the rest of my high school years sophomore and junior year and Senior year and still struggled with more thoughts of suicide and then also self harm. I fell into a deeper depression at 16 and also struggled with body image issues and food issues and came close to developing an eating disorder at 17. I also came out at 16 as bisexual which increased bullying at school and then occurred online. I also got cyberbullied by classmates on Facebook various ways. I felt powerless and couldn’t escape the hate. I somehow made it through that too and also graduated high school. I then started college in fall of 2013 during that time I lost a professor and also my only living grandpa I had left. I fell into a deep depression again and had a relapse into self harm again I decided to do research because I was feeling really broken and lost and felt that perhaps I was dealing with something more than regular depression. I immediately recognized that I had lots of the signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder type 1. I started experiencing psychosis but it didn’t last long it went away and hasn’t came back since. I had episodes of mania/manic episodes and spent money on clothes I didn’t really need, bought Starbucks or some other pricey drink multiple days during the week and went through my money or points for food and drinks on my college card too fast and so much more. I had to do counseling and cognitive behavioral therapy it took a long time but with time I learned better coping skills and also was recommended to see the campus psychologist or psychiatrist whichever one diagnoses someone with a mental illness. In January of 2014, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 at only 19 years old. I was recommended to take lithium and an anti depressant. I decided against them because the side effects but now at 23 years old I am thinking maybe I should try to find a med cocktail both an anti depressant and mood stabilizer that works for me. It’s been a long journey but I am a fighter and warrior now and still have sometimes slip up and relapse but I am currently doing well in recovery but some days are harder than others. I have been doing many things to help me cope with the highs and lows of it but do think maybe some meds could help me on my bad days. I’m just afraid of the effects. I hope my story can help someone else struggling and inspire someone to reach out for help or maybe just find it as a story they can relate to.

            My name is Jennifer and I am a recovered mental illness survivor—

            I have endured severe mental illness for over half my life.  During that time, I suffered from clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and borderline personality disorder.

            Due to the depression, my behaviors ranged from excessive crying to excessive sleeping to suicide attempts.  I felt feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness.  All I thought I wanted to do was die.   But in fact, what I really wanted was help with overcoming my severe sadness.

            During my manic states, I endured impulsive, spontaneous, and irresponsible behaviors.  I felt on top of world.  I felt excessive amounts of energy.  I had racing thoughts.  I had delusions of grandeur.  I’ll be honest.  It felt great to be so high, but it is also very dangerous.  Risky behaviors can lead to much endangerment of self and others.

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“Successfully” Living with Bipolar Disorder, If I Can Do it, So Can You!

 I never thought I’d actually say I was “Successfully Living” with Bipolar Disorder. I’ve been on so many medications and been through cognitive behavior therapy, multiple psychiatric hospitalizations along with a long-term hospitalization as well. When I found out I had medication resistant depression and I had to have ECT (Electro-Convulsive Therapy) I didn’t think I’d ever become successful.

But, here I am. And, I can actually say for the first time since my diagnosis in 2003 that I am successfully living with Bipolar Disorder. Why do I say “successfully”? Because, I’d rather not consider the other options.

I work hard every day to make sure I stay stable. And, if an episode attempts to rear its ugly head, I’m on top of it. I’ve created a Coping Box that is my “go to” no matter if a mania episode or depressive episode starts. The box is filled with affirmations, prayer journals, my Bible, my Wellness Recovery Action Plan, coloring books, crayons, colored pencils, bubbles, (no one can be in a sad mood with bubbles, right?)  Gummie snacks, a list of people to call, and all sorts of spiritual books to keep me in God’s Word.

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I’m MERLIN.I have been dealing with mental health issues for many years, more than 25+ .I have taken all different kinds of of meds and have tried to stop taking meds more than 8 times and have ended up in the hospital.a mental health hospital can be a scary place but the people are trained and are there to assist you with your recovery.Since dealing with mental health issues over 25+ years I have decided to turn the tables on MENTAL HEALTH and train to be a PEER SUPPORT ADVOCATE.i want to help other people dealing with mental health issues and let them know that there is light at the end of the road and what they are going through is only temporary.i want to share my faith and help educate,inpire,coach and be an example to others.medication and counseling 

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Hello, I have always thought that sharing my story with the mental health community is important to bring hope to others that are just like me.

I’m a 37 year old divorced mother of two boys. I have been in therapy of some kind or another since I was 7 years old. Mental illness runs in my family as well as substance abuse addiction. I believe I was born with my many disorders that progressed and worsened as I got older, abused illegal drugs, prescribed medication and had my children. In my early childhood I showed all the many signs of OCD. I also grew up in an extremely chaotic family where my mother suffered terribly with her own mental illness that was never acknowledged or treated and an emotionally absent father. My two older siblings coped with this by using and abusing drugs and my older sister was put into rehab when I was seven. My older brother simply moved away and is still an addict today covering up his own mental health issues. My younger sister was extremely emotionally disturbed and would act out violently towards my parents but especially towards me. She would later become a drug addict for many years and thankfully entered recovery 4 ½ years ago.

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My name is Mike Logan Stubbs. I’m a 28-year-old from England. I suffer from depression and mental health issues which I believe have haunted me for nearly six years now.

My depression got so bad four months ago, I attempted to take my own life and was hospitalized.

I felt like no matter what I did, I would always feel this way (depressed). I can get so low, like the flick of a switch, when my depression is at its worst and unfortunately cannot control it.

When I got out of hospital, with the support of my family, I made it my mission to get better — and the best way to express my emotions is through music. Through music I feel like a “normal” person and feel it is my best therapy.

My experience with depression and fighting it inspired me to raise awareness through music. Listening to other bands and artists also helps me, especially when the lyrics are meaningful! My favorite artists and inspiration range from Metallica, Phil Collins and even classical music. The experience of attempting suicide inspired me to not only help myself, but to help others who feel the same as me.

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