My Sister has Schizoaffective Disorder
My sister was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder at about 12 years old. She was institutionalized for years as a teenager and when the doctors couldn’t help anymore, she went to live with my father until she was 50, just three years ago. He died and my mother couldn’t take care of her so we moved her to a small house just around the corner from me so that I could help to take care of her, along with my twin sister who lives about 20 miles away. Doctors say “she is a very sick girl” and pretty much say as long as she isn’t hurting herself or anyone else, there’s nothing they can do. She was on medication for a long time and we switched her to injections about a year ago. The constant anger seems to have gotten better but she still hallucinate regularly and becomes irate and standoffish a lot. I never know what I’ll get with her from one minute to the next. It’s very trying on me and my family and sometimes I cry. I pray a lot. It’s hard to take her anywhere because she is often dirty, badly dressed, pants literally falling off her, stomach hanging out, shoes half off her feet, and she often lashes out at people for doing things and saying things that only she can see and hear. If I try to help her, she becomes angry and irate and shuts me out as much as I want to shut her out at the same time. Sometimes I just have to walk away and let whatever will be, be… for my own sanity as well as to give her time to calm herself down. She’s never good. She never has rational thoughts or conversations. I have resigned myself to the fact that I’ll be subjected to this for the rest of my life, or hers, whichever comes first. It’s a terrible way to exist for all involved, her included, but there is no other choice.
I share because I read others’ stories about taking meds and having families and going to college and I just want people to know that there are cases out there that are so severe, that even meds aren’t enough and that those people, and their families and caregivers need your understanding and patience and companion, not your judgements of things that you know nothing about most of the time.
I say this with all due respect. I will continue to pray…for her, for me, for my family and for strength.
