PTSD
I am 44 yr old woman veteran, mother of 3. Now single due to the hardship and inability to cope with my first infant daughter’s sudden death. My fiancee of 8 years only knew how to influence me with drugs to numb my and his pain. We had a second daughter and I still continued with major depression until the present. It’s been 7 years and it hasn’t gotten easier. My now ex fiancee took full custody of our daughter because my way of coping was with alcohol and sleep and anxiety medicine. His emotional abuse drove me nuts and I ended up in a mental hospital. He convinced the court I was unstable and unfit. I fought for her 2 years now and now he allows me to see her on a regular basis. He kept her from me for a year with the help of the court system. I’m not sure how he slept at night knowing our daughter has gone through so many emotions and without our bond. It was emotional terror dealing with such a controlling man. I was able to convince the judge after 2 years of constant psychiatric care and additional year of therapy. Take note I was working and functional this whole time, but he kept fighting to stop me from seeing her. It is the worst emotional state I’ve been in, in addition to grieving my first daughter. I have since turned everything over to a higher power that I learned to have faith with over time. I’ve seen answers that are inexplicable and that has restored my lost faith. I have done this alone, my and his family emotionally abandoned me and even though I walked through all that darkness I was able to envision a light of hope. Belief in the unseen, my angel I believe kept me afloat amidst the turbulent waters…from 8 medications I was able to wean off of 7 all at my own will. Although i continue with minor anxiety, I am able to control it with frequent exercise and strict diet which has saved my life. I am now helping a disabled young adult with the same problem of suicidal thoughts due to his physical and mental disabilities. This higher power has given me a tremendous purpose with my experience of mental illness. Every day he copes better and I am serving my purpose in life now. I am now equipped to be as compassionate as ever to save others’ lives. I have transformed completely and believe if I can conquer this so can you!

