I’m MERLIN.I have been dealing with mental health issues for many years, more than 25+ .I have taken all different kinds of of meds and have tried to stop taking meds more than 8 times and have ended up in the hospital.a mental health hospital can be a scary place but the people are trained and are there to assist you with your recovery.Since dealing with mental health issues over 25+ years I have decided to turn the tables on MENTAL HEALTH and train to be a PEER SUPPORT ADVOCATE.i want to help other people dealing with mental health issues and let them know that there is light at the end of the road and what they are going through is only temporary.i want to share my faith and help educate,inpire,coach and be an example to others.medication and counseling 

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I suffer from a dual diagnosis of alcoholism and depression.  I am now in recovery for alcoholism and am being treated for depression with an antidepressant and therapy to deal with life long issues.  I now work in the mental health field and am going to school to be a mental health counselor.  I very much feel that I have much to offer others who suffer from addiction and mental health issues, although honestly, some days feel I am worse off than those with whom I am working. I struggle daily with thoughts low self esteem and worthlessness and relapsing into alcohol usage!  However, I realize that this will be a daily challenge for possibly the rest of my life.  I want to encourage and inspire others who are also in recovery for addiction and mental illness to find help and support.  There is hope for you if you just take the first steps. 

But that’s the complex nature of mental health at work. It’s confusing and exhausting. It takes time. It takes effort. And it can, and may very well, require a reboot. So while we can’t expect it to be steady and linear, recovery from mental illness is undeniably possible. No matter the number of times we take one step back, there are always steps forward awaiting to be taken — Katie Belcher

It is wishful to assume that the process of coping with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder or even addiction among the few of these that takes place at a steady incline; that one counseling session, a single dose of medication or familiarizing oneself with a breathing exercise will propel you forward at a constant rate. Unfortunately—more often than not—that is a naive assumption.

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This year has been the year I’ve really worked on my recovery and my overall mental health. From a very young age I was depressed, fascinated with death and constantly anxious. I developed major body image issues as a child that turned into an eating disorder. I grew up with a biological father who was an addict, alcoholic, abusive and mentally ill with Bipolar Disorder.

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I was working as a social worker 13 years ago when I had a mental breakdown. I lost my mental health, physical health, home, some of my friends, and money. The confident, self-assured woman was replaced by a very frightened, hurt, wounded person.

Over the years, I have had various levels of ups and downs. In 2006 at a low point, I started coming to Ellis Continuing Day Treatment (CDT). I found the support I needed in therapy and groups. I slowly made progress and got very comfortable and safe in the counter culture of mental illness. I REALLY wanted to feel better, but knew that I was not well and could not see the path to recovery. I saw people who were coping better than me and could not see how they were doing it and not me. There was something missing. I couldn’t see past my reality of getting through the day to day.

Two years ago, Personal Recovery Oriented Services (PROS) replaced CDT. My therapist and I worked together evaluating my past experiences, where I had problems when I was working, what strengths I thought I had, my dreams for my life, and broke it down into small goals.

I took groups that would help me achieve these goals: how to cope with symptoms and look to a life outside of PROS. I had some setbacks last year, but have worked hard to find recovery. Everyone has a different opinion as to what recovery means to them. Recovery is my process of reclaiming my life, using a routine and coping skills to navigate my symptoms, having a good support system, and piecing together a more meaningful life with balance.

In my path to recovery, I have become involved in Schenectady PEER, which stands for People Empowered Experiencing Recovery. The group is free standing, not affiliated with any hospital or treatment center. We are an advisory board that is run by those who know the most about our needs: Peers.

A MENTAL HEALTH RECOVERY CREED

I am a child of God.

I am defined by who God says I am, not by my diagnosis.

I will seek to live my true purpose through relationship, dependence and trust in the Lord.

I will choose to care for myself to the best of my ability so I can be used for the greater good.

I will honestly open up my heart to others about my struggle and not allow fear of judgment or ridicule to keep me isolated.

I will choose to risk rejection, knowing the truth of my story builds confidence and hope in others who may be suffering in silence.

I will not be ashamed of my life, thinking I need to do more for acceptance.

I can remain still, knowing God is working all things together for His good and for His glory.

This emotional and physical pain is only temporary, I will choose to live now for eternity.

Because I had no history of a mental illness, physicians were unable to diagnosis a variety of unexplained medical symptoms. As I came to understand the mental health aspect of my illness, I was able to direct my own recovery. I would like to see more understanding of the intricate balance of physical and mental health. Discussion of functional motor disorders should focus more on the very real connection between the physical and mental. Terms such as “psychosomatic” imply the symptoms are made up—making the person feel inferior. This furthers negative impressions of mental health and hinders recovery.

For me, difficulty with swallowing was the first symptom. I regularly ran six miles before I had a medical test to determine the cause of the sensation of food feeling “stuck”.  After the test, I struggled to get off the couch. Despite further medical testing, there was no explanation for stomach muscle spasms after eating ½ cup of puree food. Also, walking was reduced to a slow, deliberate shuffle. For nine months, I struggled with walking and eating, then I was able to eat solid food with no difficulty. In the next five years, there would be months when I could maintain physical activity. Then physical symptoms such as weakness, shortness of breath, rapid heart rate would develop. There was no pattern for the appearance of symptoms. In time, symptoms would resolve spontaneously only to return. Symptoms progressed to depression and panic attacks.

After years of medical testing and sporadic counseling, I decided to ignore all physical symptoms. I joined a gym and told class instructors as well as my personal trainer about my medical history. They advised me in what should be a reasonable amount of physical activity. I adhered to a schedule and kept moving through a one hour fitness class. The instructor may do 20 repetitions and I did 5. In time, determined effort became fluid movement. Five months into an exercise routine, I ran a 5K. Two months later, I ran a 10K.

Recovery came as I faced the stigma. I was not “less than” because this happened to me. It was not possible for me to “just get over it” and move on. I had to address the physical, mental, spiritual and social aspects of my life. When I accepted the mental component as opposed to believing it was merely physical, I discovered what worked. I returned to my previous level of activity. The “runner’s high” is back.

In this six year journey, I was told many times, “It’s just the way it’s going to be. You have to learn to live with it.” But, I believed it was possible to return to work, to clean my house, to return to activities I enjoyed. More was possible if only I would keep trying, keep searching.

Mental illness can be masked behind very real physical symptoms. On the flip side, physical symptoms which defy medical diagnosis are often dismissed as being psychologically based. I believe individuals should pursue a physical diagnosis, seek counseling, and attend to spiritual and social matters. If physical symptoms persist, a decision should be made. Is it possible that paying attention to physical symptoms hinders recovery? If a person feels safe in assuming symptoms are not physiologically based, a course of recovery should be pursued.  Make a plan and stick with it. Results will not happen quickly. But full recovery is possible.

June 3, 2014

Thank you for your interest in my recovery story. I have been in mental health treatment for the past thirty-three years. It began at age eight when I was sexually molested by a close relative. I did not tell anyone out of shame and guilt for ten years. I became anorexic immediately following the assault, which turned into bulimia, severe depression and anxiety through my teenage years. My parents would not allow hospitalization or medication because of their ignorance and the stigma involved. Suicide was constantly on my mind. My parents did allow for weekly psychotherapy treatments.

At seventeen, I suffered a major mental breakdown and was limited in my high school attendance. I disclosed facts about the abuse during therapy, but no charges were filed, once again due to the perceived stigma. At eighteen, I took myself to the psychiatrist and received my first prescription for an anti-depressant. Lack of effectiveness and side effects caused me to spend the next fifteen years trying different medicine combinations.

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The reason I want to share my story is because I want to bring awareness to mental health and stop the stigmas. I want to promote positive outlooks for moms with mental illness. Not everyone is going to be the same just because they have the same diagnosis. And a diagnosis does not define someone.

I have been affected by mental health personally since my teenage years. I recently have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. When I read about BPD I thought it sounded pretty accurate and it was nice to feel like I new one of the answers as to why I was struggling. The parts of BPD that hit home the most with me were the criteria of the diagnosis stating that those with BPD have a hard time regulating emotions and also that they can struggle with finding purpose.

As a mom it makes me sad to realize I worry so much about purpose or think so much about what my purpose is, what my meaning is. Why can’t I feel like being a mom is enough meaning? Why isn’t being a good wife is enough purpose? The ruminating obsession with questioning what I should be doing and why constantly flows through my head.

During my recent hospitalization followed by an outpatient program I was dealing with multiple areas of mental illness. I’m also diagnosed with generalized anxiety and major depressive disorder. I was 6 months postpartum, a stay at home mom with my baby and her sister, my other daughter, who is 2. At the time I started to experience postpartum depression as well.

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Introduction

My name is Monty Price. I like music, and like to make sure I have free time from school. Also, I like to take pictures and post them on Facebook. I hope everyone is doing find today.

NAMI has become the nation’s voice on mental health and was founded in 1979. NAMI provides programs for the mentally ill and in Lexington consumers can go to the Participation Station. Also, NAMI provides programs to help families deal with their loved ones that have mental illness.

Dark Days

When I was at the age of 26 years my symptoms of mental illness caused many problems for me.  I started to have emotional problems for the first time and was hospitalized in Texas. Having emotional problems was like not understanding my situation and being confused. One of my darkest moments was when I was having a lot of fear and feeling angry about life. Moreover, not getting along with family and friends was causing problems for me in my life.  Also, not being able to hold a job and having dealings with the police. If you can imagine having avoid in your life and nowhere to go. Furthermore, not being able to function in society was a problem for me. These are some of the feelings I was experiencing at my first hospitalization and more distress as well.

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