We lost our son to suicide in March of this year. Please- never give up on your loved one and encourage him or her to get help - no matter how many times it takes or how bad things get. Suicide is never ever the right answer. Thank you to Fox Sports for partnering with NAMI.

Do you ever feel your emotions physically? It might be a pit in your stomach or a tension in your back. It calls out to you, like a siren blaring, “something is wrong”. A month or so ago, I had this pit in my stomach that would not go away. It felt like a sustained, subtle panic attack that lasted several days, perhaps even a week. I couldn’t understand what it was telling me. To run? To stay? Which thoughts should I follow? Which were trying to be helpful and which were feeding this feeling in my stomach? I tried many of my usual coping skills to make it go away: running, meditation, sleep, talking it out. Nothing was working, which indicated that it was something deeper.

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My whole life I found myself never truly understanding why I had so many different identities, I have been so many different people in the past based on what i believe to be me at the time or whom i am around or what they want me to do be. The lies I tell, the inability to hold down a relationship due to being so defensive and dwelling on mistakes or criticism even when its something so small.

I buy things online, in shops like a millionaire to make myself feel better or spare of the moment idea which got out of control. I have binged eaten, I have smoked, drank excessively and in secret to self abuse. I never truly trust or dedicate myself to anyone, i am always one foot out the door so to speak.