My Mental Health Struggles Have Made Me Strong
Hi, my name is Annie Rosenthal and I have struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember. Starting around the age of three, I started having terrible panic attacks. I would flush with heat, shake with cold, and end up vomiting. The doctors didn’t know what was ailing me, in fact they didn’t diagnosis me until I was seventeen years old. Throughout my childhood I had difficulty making it through travels, sleepovers, and even tests without having an attack. To this day, anxiety and depression make phone calls, trips to the laundromat, and any form of confrontation seem like life or death activities.
I used to tell myself that I was weak. I would watch my peers do things that seemed impossible with ease. I felt like a failure that I couldn’t accomplish the things I wanted. I felt even worse when my perceived deficiencies affected other people. I’ve even had friends feed into these fears, telling me that I’m emotionally unstable and that if I was stronger I could get through this.
However, I know now that I am strong. Every day of my life, I have faced debilitating fear and have survived. Some days, I am able to push that fear down and move through my day. I think I’m even braver for embracing myself on the days I can’t get out of bed. I have traveled the world, have the job I always wanted, and am in love. I am strong because I have become who I wanted to be, and I wouldn’t be that person without anxiety and depression.
Having to do constant mental check ins has made me self aware. The constant, hidden suffering has made me empathetic. My need to be perfect has made me prepared. My acute attention to people’s reactions has made me a good communicator. My depression has made me able to lean on and open up to my friends and family. My need to be understood has caused me to stand up and raise my voice. And thus, my perceived mental health weaknesses have made me strong.