Mental Illness as a Lao American
I have been struggling with mental illness since I was very young. But in Lao culture, we believe there is no such thing as a mental illness. Growing up with this issue was very hard for me, especially not knowing or how to identify the symptom was just difficult to deal with. Being in a family of Southeast Asian refugees and having both Lao parents working very hard trying to provide and without having both of them there to cultivate and nurture my upbringing has deteriorated my illness over time. At home, I held myself prisoner in my room and sometimes would go for days without eating. When school was off I would sleep for 10-14 hours at a time and wouldn’t come out of my room unless there was a reason to. I had many friends growing up but always felt lonely and withdrawn from them.
After graduating from high school and having dropped out from a very good college, I turned to alcohol and eventually experiencing party drugs to try to cope with what I was going through. But that was the worst mistake I ever did. I became even more unstable and my emotional outbursts were getting uncontrollable. People would talk to me about getting help and getting my anger under control but not realizing the severity of my problem, I thought it was shameful to try to seek professional help.
Over time I chased people away from my life as my depression became harder to manage. With no end in sight and the light at the end of the tunnel becoming very dim, I finally began to talk about my problem first with my wife and then my primary care doctor. They recommended that I see a therapist to see if they can help me navigate through it. Fast forward…I have now been diagnosed with PTSD and a lot of the traumas I experienced was from my childhood and drinking heavily with the use of drugs compounding my problems even worse.
After many sessions with my therapist and deep meditations I now have the tools to overcome my fear, my pain and have a newfound purpose in life. I have forgiven myself and have forgiven the person that traumatized me. God has given me a new lease on life. Now all I feel is love and all the negative thoughts that were racing through my mind has subsided…
Anyway, this is my story that I want to share and some of you know me very well but not know what I was struggling with. I hope and pray that if some of you are going through a similar situation that it is okay to seek professional help and it’s not something to be ashamed about. This is especially hard in the Southeast Asian community. After all, there are only 2 licensed psychologists in the entire country of Laos! Do not let it stigmatize you and prevent you from living the life that you were destined to have. Be strong, be brave and realize your life’s purpose. God bless! Author: Sie