Suicide Prevention Awareness Month
September is suicide prevention awareness month. So, in honor of spreading awareness this month, I want to share a few practical tips for how to prevent suicide. This will be nothing deep or incredibly insightful, but just some things I have learned in walking through suicide experiences with both a loved one and with clients as well as through my own education. This list is by no means exhaustive and I encourage every individual to do further research on the topic. The reality is, you never know when you will encounter the crisis of a suicide attempt or suicidal ideation with someone.
Educate Yourself: This one is probably the easiest so my hope is that every person will push themselves to learn more. In order to eradicate the shame and stigma surrounding suicide, we must understand it’s reality. People do not attempt or die by suicide because they are selfish or because they want attention. Suicide is often the tragic result of a long journey of suffering. When an individual reaches the point of ending their own life, they do so because they deeply feel the world is better without them in it. They do not do so because they want people to notice them or because they want to leave their family heartbroken. For loved ones, this can be so difficult to understand and it can be hard to not take it personally which is why it is so important to educate yourself on the facts surrounding suicide. Another aspect of education is knowing the signs and risk factors that are often associated with suicide. Some of these signs include but are not limited to expressing feelings of hopelessness, withdrawal or isolation, risky behaviors (often associated with drugs and alcohol), or talking about not wanting to live.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask the Hard Questions: Now that you know the signs, what do you do if you see them? It’s important to keep in mind that while these things are often associated with suicide, each of them individually may not be cause for panic. However, to err on the side of caution, they should never be ignored. Don’t be afraid to point out that your loved one or client may be acting differently and ask them if there is anything they would like to talk about. Allow them to feel safe; do not threaten or judge. Assist them in finding someone else to talk to if they do not feel comfortable talking to you and do not take it personally if you are not the person they wish to confide in. When appropriate, ask them directly if they are having thoughts of harming themselves. Do not say this in an accusing way, but be direct and do not beat around the bush. Ask follow up questions if needed (i.e. do you have a plan? how long have you been feeling this way? Have you acted on your plan? etc.). Often, simply talking through these suicidal thoughts or ideations can assist a person in thinking through their options more logically and could possibly save their life.
Allow Them Space to Not Be Okay: This is particularly important when working with individuals who suffer with chronic mental illness and/or suicide. Every person has good days and bad days and it is important on those bad days that they are allowed the space to just not be okay. Be present with them but do not try to “fix” all of their problems. Allow them to talk about their experiences and validate their pain. Or, allow them to sit in silence as words are often too difficult. Do not pretend to understand what they are going through, but use empathy to send the message that you are willing to walk through it with them. This is often difficult to do, particularly for those of us in the helping profession. We want to fix things, but some days it is important to acknowledge that you can’t fix it and all you can do is just be there.
Create a Crisis Plan: Assisting someone in creating a crisis plan can be very helpful in certain situations. It is similar to but not the same as a “no harm contract”. I’m not a fan of no harm contracts because I don’t like the idea of having someone promise they will not harm themselves when they may or may not be able to keep that promise. It is like asking a patient with diabetes to promise that they will never allow their blood sugar to reach a certain level. Instead, a crisis plan is simply helping a person to come up with healthy ways to respond to suicidal thoughts. It may also include preventative measures that can be taken to help a person reduce the frequency of suicidal thoughts. A crisis plan must be individualized because what works for one person may not work for another. The plan may also include a list of people they can contact if they are experiencing a crisis and the people on that list should be aware of the plan as well. A crisis plan will not be effective in every situation, but sometimes having a concrete written plan in place can be very helpful to an individual.
Attempt to Find the Balance: This one is so difficult and to be honest I really don’t have an answer for what “the balance” is. When a person struggles with mental illness and/or suicide it’s hard to know when it is appropriate to take action and when it is not. You can’t ignore possible warning signs but you also can’t panic every time something seems a little bit off. If you know your loved one has experienced suicidal thoughts you may want to lock away all the medicines, sharp objects, etc and you may be afraid to ever leave them alone. However, these type of safety precautions can often be extremely dehumanizing and ineffective. It may cause them to feel further isolated and hopeless. You may want to rush to your loved one’s house to check on them every time they won’t answer the phone, but this can also be extremely intrusive and overbearing. Sometimes you won’t get the balance right and you must forgive yourself for this, but it is also important to continue trying.
Hopefully these simple tips have been helpful to some. Suicide is very real and is one of the leading causes of death amongst young adults. To make progress, we must acknowledge it and feel comfortable talking about it. If you have never had any kind of experience with suicide, do not disregard this. You never know what you may encounter in the future. If you are a social worker or helping professional it is likely that you will encounter this at some point in your career. Prepare yourself. Do further research. Refer to other professionals when needed.