I am diagnosed with schizophrenia paranoid type, a diagnosis I shared with my mother, who died 10 years ago.  There are memories of a difficult and traumatic childhood and young adulthood, growing up with a single mother who, non-compliant with treatment, was 90% of the time, psychotic.  At fifteen, I came to Milwaukee to live with my father, a successful IBM National Accounts Manager.

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Remain positive and strong, realizing that you are valuable. Surround yourself with self love and positive vibes.

MY WIFE’S RESPONSE:

My husband and I have been raising our nephew since he was 8 years old. He is now 19. When he was about 10 years old, he was tested at Rowan University in Glassboro, New Jersey and diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. We took him to many therapists, behavioral specialists and counseling services. In 2011, we moved from New Jersey to Pennsylvania and our nephew started his freshman year in High School. He had an I.E.P., school counseling in small groups, was in regular classes most of the day and received one on one counseling as well by the school psychologist. The school psychologist recommended wraparound services and our nephew had in-home mobile services until he was 18. His main problem is his inability to socialize with others. Consequently, we tried various social groups; but, he neither participated nor did we find an appropriate group for him, i.e. one with people with Asperger’s or Autism and with people in his age group. Currently, our nephew is receiving therapy in two counseling services and nothing is making a difference. He is anxious, fixates on insignificant things like his hair, has absolutely no ambition or goals in life, lays around doing nothing most of the time and continually says that he ‘can’t.’ He can’t work. He can’t make friends. He can’t…

I am desperate to find a social group for Asperger’s/Autism that might make an impression on him. Since he has become older, He has obsessed first with blue eyes (He wanted laser surgery to strip off the brown pigmentation to reveal the blue pigment underneath.), then his eyebrows were not right (I would take him to an hairdresser and he was never satisfied; but he never would complain to the hairdresser.), then it was that he had too big of a forehead and needed a forehead reduction, lately it is that he smells badly and other people do not want to be around him. His anxiety level rises and he can’t function with everyday life.

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My mother was ill with schizophrenia with borderline and all kinds of other stuff and it basically boils down to this:  she was a total witch that went for the jugular.  I have no recollection of her being any other way. My father was a battered spouse who basically let her run the household. We kids were not allowed to have feelings, preferences, become a person really and the message to me, in particular, was that I was a very bad and awful person. It has had a huge negative impact on my life, including PTSD,  and that is not for lack of trying to overcome it.  I’m well over 40 and still trying. But here’s why I am writing:  I was never told she was ill.  Had I known, my outcome would have been vastly different.  All the negative messages I would have cast off as nutty rather than true.  So, I am begging all the spouses of mentally ill folks out there to PLEASE tell your children the truth and it is never too early to start explaining the situation in terms that are age appropriate.  It’s basically the difference between your kids having self esteem and absolutely none at all.  Thanks for listening.

  Yes, I was hospitalized three times for Post Partum Psychosis (PPP) after my daughter’s birth.  After I read about Robin Williams’ tragic death yesterday, I wanted to do something positive as a sort of tribute to him and all of us suffering from mental illness.  First of all, rest in Peace acting genius.  There is hope, for me, for you.  As I write this, my daughter is playing with a jar of olive oil, and I have friends coming over for a homemade spa day.  In the depths of my paranoia and delusions 11 months ago, I could barely believe that I would live another moment, let alone we’d be enjoying this peaceful afternoon.  I felt like Edna Pontellier in The Awakening. Dealing with PPP is sometimes like treading freezing water.  I chose to be voluntarily admitted to the hospital all three times.

  My family (especially my Captain Husband - who visited me in the hospital every night with our Snuggly Daughter) and friends (especially my Spiritual Friend - who flew from California on a red eye with her young child) stepped up to take care of all of us.  Yes, I chose to take medication, and still breastfeed.  For a couple weeks I participated to the best of my ability in a Partial Hospitalization program.  Next I walked next door for my Behavioral Health Intensive Outpatient Program three days a week.  I am a proud graduate of BHIOP’s program, and still go to my talented psychiatrist-psychotherapist.  Now I take a lower dose of medications, exercise, and pray everyday.  Since I’m stable, perhaps by Christmas, my psychiatrist and I will decide I don’t need the medication anymore!  After that, I’ll see her every couple of months, then every year or so.  And since I’m praying, know that you, who are reading this, are in my prayers.

Although i love to read positive posts and inspirational quotes…living with BP and having been on the worst journey over the last 4 months…it is so disheartening to hear people just want us to just get over it or feel happy…it doesn’t work that way for us…to know there are so many like us out there gives me hope…i just hate the stigma and being a teacher having to be quiet about it.