Because I had no history of a mental illness, physicians were unable to diagnosis a variety of unexplained medical symptoms. As I came to understand the mental health aspect of my illness, I was able to direct my own recovery. I would like to see more understanding of the intricate balance of physical and mental health. Discussion of functional motor disorders should focus more on the very real connection between the physical and mental. Terms such as “psychosomatic” imply the symptoms are made up—making the person feel inferior. This furthers negative impressions of mental health and hinders recovery.

For me, difficulty with swallowing was the first symptom. I regularly ran six miles before I had a medical test to determine the cause of the sensation of food feeling “stuck”.  After the test, I struggled to get off the couch. Despite further medical testing, there was no explanation for stomach muscle spasms after eating ½ cup of puree food. Also, walking was reduced to a slow, deliberate shuffle. For nine months, I struggled with walking and eating, then I was able to eat solid food with no difficulty. In the next five years, there would be months when I could maintain physical activity. Then physical symptoms such as weakness, shortness of breath, rapid heart rate would develop. There was no pattern for the appearance of symptoms. In time, symptoms would resolve spontaneously only to return. Symptoms progressed to depression and panic attacks.

After years of medical testing and sporadic counseling, I decided to ignore all physical symptoms. I joined a gym and told class instructors as well as my personal trainer about my medical history. They advised me in what should be a reasonable amount of physical activity. I adhered to a schedule and kept moving through a one hour fitness class. The instructor may do 20 repetitions and I did 5. In time, determined effort became fluid movement. Five months into an exercise routine, I ran a 5K. Two months later, I ran a 10K.

Recovery came as I faced the stigma. I was not “less than” because this happened to me. It was not possible for me to “just get over it” and move on. I had to address the physical, mental, spiritual and social aspects of my life. When I accepted the mental component as opposed to believing it was merely physical, I discovered what worked. I returned to my previous level of activity. The “runner’s high” is back.

In this six year journey, I was told many times, “It’s just the way it’s going to be. You have to learn to live with it.” But, I believed it was possible to return to work, to clean my house, to return to activities I enjoyed. More was possible if only I would keep trying, keep searching.

Mental illness can be masked behind very real physical symptoms. On the flip side, physical symptoms which defy medical diagnosis are often dismissed as being psychologically based. I believe individuals should pursue a physical diagnosis, seek counseling, and attend to spiritual and social matters. If physical symptoms persist, a decision should be made. Is it possible that paying attention to physical symptoms hinders recovery? If a person feels safe in assuming symptoms are not physiologically based, a course of recovery should be pursued.  Make a plan and stick with it. Results will not happen quickly. But full recovery is possible.

Hello.  We all can live a great, purposeful life managing Bipolar Condition or any mental health situations. 

The social stigma of mental illness used to bother me to no end…and contribute to my problems!  I’m over that now, but I prefer to call it Bipolar Condition vs. “Disorder”.  I also prefer to discuss Mental Health vs. “Illness”.

My story in general: 

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TO ANYONE WITH ANY MENTAL ILLNESS OF ANY AGE:

(you don’t have to be in middle school)

Middle School’s known to be some of the hardest years of our lives, between hormones and homework it’s tough enough to make it through without mental health and the stigma it so often carries. As it’s impossible to make it through a class without someone making a joke about a mental illness either a friend of mine or I have, I’ve come to a certain conclusion. Teenagers will be teenagers, it shouldn’t be that way, it shouldn’t be an excuse to kidding about things that people truly struggle with on a daily basis, but it is. Sometimes things in life are just stupid, but we can’t let that get to us.

I’m a 13 (almost 14) year old in the ignorant year of 8th grade, towards the end of last year a few things in life went really, really wrong, and it resulted in a series of unfortunate events (no pun intended). Basically, by the time 8th grade started, I had not only experienced my fair share of panic attacks, gone to a therapist several times, but I had also been diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. I had basically hidden from my entire grade during the summer, so as school started up again and I was struck by a mass of indirect insults towards my mental illnesses, let’s just say there was a lot of tears at the beginning of the year.

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Recovery and Mental Illness

Remember you are not define by your mental illness. Your hope becomes your recovery. Your strengths and positive coping strategies empower your destiny to recover.

Recovery is possible if you believe that you are not your diagnosis. The road to recovery is not easy. Hope, strength, support, determination, and education on mental illness can help an individual with a mental illness recover so that they can live a productive and gratifying life in their community. Some individuals with mental illness can work, attend and graduate from college, buy a home, and have families.

Hope equals maintaining a mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy lifestyle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                  Written By: Tracy Goudeau, MS

I thought that I had accepted my mental illness long ago.  After all, I was taking medication and attending counseling after being hospitalized for months in a state psychiatric hospital.  Here I was an “advocate” for mental health but refused to disclose to anyone that I was suffering.  It wasn’t until I moved back to my hometown and got involved as a mental health advocate for NAMI that I realized what exactly accepting a mental health diagnosis meant.

Accepting meant that I was going to no longer stigmatize myself for being ill.  A condition, is a condition, is a condition.  I wouldn’t treat someone with diabetes any differently for being ill so why was I holding myself up to such a ridiculous standard?  Accepting meant that I was not afraid to stand in front of a group of 20 strangers and disclose what I thought was my biggest secret in order to educate the community.  For so long I wanted change to the system, change to mental health care.  The only way that change is going to happen is if we all accept our conditions and reduce the stigmatization.  Through acceptance and education comes change.

That change is exactly what I am seeing in myself and my community now.  After going through facilitator training for the NAMI Connection Recovery Support Group program I started a support group for adults with mental illness in my community.  I now sit on the advisory board for my mental health agency and my local NAMI affiliate as a mental health consumer.   I am no longer afraid to say that I have a mental illness and advocate for those who have not yet reached that stage in their recovery or are unable to advocate for themselves.  There is help and there is hope.

Remember you are not define by your mental illness. Your hope becomes your recovery. Your strengths and positive coping strategies empower your destiny to recover.

Recovery is possible if you believe that you are not your diagnosis. The road to recovery is not easy. Hope, strength, support, determination, and education on mental illness can help an individual with a mental illness recover so that they can live a productive and gratifying life in their community. Some individuals with mental illness can work, attend and graduate from college, buy a home, and have families.

Hope equals maintaining a mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy lifestyle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mental health coverage should be a top priority.  Anybody disagreeing lives in their own bubble.  And that bubble can burst anytime with  family strife/hospitalizations/unrealized dreams/wasted and lost lives, etc.  The monster of mental illness is not limited to the poor and homeless.  It can cause strife and disaster for people in all walks of life.  We need more research for better medications and better treatment and parity coverage with insurance.  Most families know someone in their own family or friends/co-workers/neighbors who suffer from mental illness.  It is vastly widespread  and affects everyone.  The affluent catering to insurance and wall street profits is doing immense irreparable disaster to our population. 

The Gift of Mental Illness - And Why You Should Never Give Up on Life

By: Melanie Berman

1 in 4 American adults struggles with mental health issues.  That means someone you know - a friend, a family member, an acquaintance or you.  These struggles are not easy.  They can range from depression or anxiety, to OCD and Bipolar Disorder, to Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizophrenia.  There are all types of levels of severity.  As a 22 year old living in Northern California with a Bipolar Spectrum Mood Disorder and OCD, my life has been far from easy.  But I would not trade in the mood disorder for a perfectly chemically balanced brain.  Yeah, you read that right.  I wouldn’t trade the sleepless nights filled with panic or the depressive episodes or even the unexplainable periods of severe irritability.    I wouldn’t trade in the broken relationships, the devastation experienced by both myself and my family with every episodic mood swing, the medical leaves of absence from college, having to quit most jobs I start, or even the lack of independence that the mental health challenges have given me.  Why, you may ask?! Why not trade it in for an easy, dare I say “normal” life??

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I was a mental health provider for over 20 years. My chronic pain-related depression was well managed with medications and exercise for nearly 15 years. Then, without warning, in November 2011, my meds quit working. I was hospitalized twice; I had never before even admitted to anyone I had a mental illness (I’m not so sure I even admitted it to myself). The depression was accompanied by male voices which sounded sort of like a radio broadcast from another room. Now, I had to take my mental illness seriously!

I embarked on a nearly four year journey with a counselor and psychiatrist to search for an alternative to my medications. For almost four years, I struggled; at times, I could not even muster the energy to take my pain meds, or answer the phone. Making a phone call was absolutely too daunting a task. I isolated. I didn’t eat, exercise, or even change the t.v. channel. I felt absolutely hopeless. I remember being angry and resentful that suicide was not an option, due to my spiritual beliefs. I felt trapped. Sure, I would get a few good days, but the depression would always return. I could not remember feeling joy. I did not look forward to the next moment, hour, or day. An intensive outpatient program run by the VA was my only salvation.

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Not Alone.

I think the title for this wonderful blog encapsulates one of the most important but mind-boggling phrases for people with mental health disorders. I say this because although it’s such a powerful phrase, for many of us with mental illness, it’s often incredibly difficult to believe.

Our pain is so deep-rooted and so personal that we often can’t imagine that others can relate to it. We can’t fathom the idea of someone else knowing what it’s like to be so physically depressed that it aches in your body, it weighs down your chest, and makes life physically painful to live. We can’t imagine that someone can relate to our own negative thoughts, the dark visions we have, the negative self image we form, the thoughts of suicide or self harm we may posses.

The terrifying part of mental illness is what a personal illness it is. It takes your deepest and most personal insecurities, your greatest anxieties and fears, and your darkest thoughts, and aggravates them to the point where you are consumed in your own personal nightmare. And it’s hard to imagine that anyone else can also experience that. It’s hard to imagine that you are truly not alone.

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