I been live with my family for almost 22 years, I never know how to do housework and everything. My parents always help me all the time. But since last year I move out from my parents and out of my country, I feel so lonely. I have to do everything by myself, no one help me, no one to talk to. The 4 months after I move, I fell so stress, nothing to do, just stay in the house. I don’t even have transportation. I feel like I stay in Prison.
See more posts like this on Tumblr
#submission
I go to WPIC of UPMC for my treatment. Over the last 3 years they’ve had a patient contest to design the NAMIWalks tshirt for the WPIC team. I entered all three years and won the first 2 (they used an employee submission last year). This was the original uncoloured sketch of my third entry - I was trying to depict depression as a thick forest you can’t get out of. The girl on the right holding the flower is my therapist (she laughed) and I’m the girl with the bun on her head.
I go to WPIC of UPMC for my treatment. Over the last 3 years they’ve had a patient contest to design the NAMIWalks T-shirt for the WPIC team. I entered all three years and won the first 2 (they used an employee submission last year). This is my first entry - I wanted to show how bipolar disorder affects people’s families so the little faces around the figures are family members.
This the continuation from my first submission , it got sent on an accident and it wasn’t completed. So what I was saying is when I read Harvest time on NAMI’s not alone page when she talked about the Good Seeds & Bad Seeds , I understood what she meant plant good seeds and receive a good Harvest, and throw a way the Bad Seeds an don’t pass them on to anyone. I realize that that is the truest statement that I read , I realized that that is what I’ve been doing all my life, with my children , husband, with everyone and allowing others to throw there Bad seeds on me. So With that being said, I’m going to do my very best to cope and plant good seeds and throw away the bad. I going to go to this DUI school an get my license back , continue my therapy ,continue my Meds and most of all plant good seeds an take care of myself. and know truly, believe that there is no HOPLESS SITUATION.
A few months ago someone asked me if there was anything good about living with depression. I answered the question but I must admit that I was stumped by it. What could possibly be good about living with depression or any other mental illness? After all my mental illness has repeatedly pounded me into submission, driven me to my bed for days, and pushed me past the end of myself for thirty-nine years. I have struggled through the seemingly impossible task of finding a decent psychiatrist combined with the stressful experiential process of figuring out the correct medication regime, and cloudy thinking that is the hallmark of a mental health crisis. Then there is the stigma that continues to cloak many of my fellow mental illness road warriors with a shame that only impedes our healing. The pain of living with a mental illness sometimes exacts a toll that is too high to pay. Viewed through this lens it would be reasonable to conclude that there is nothing good about living with depression or any other mental illness. However, if nothing else living with depression has taught me to look beyond what seems reasonable or logical to my unquiet mind.
I am a believer and person of faith. As such I choose to view my mental illness through the Word of God. Now I know that I lost some of you when I mentioned God and the Bible. Before you stop reading, I implore you to consider the entirety of my post. I urge you to take what speaks to you and leave the rest.
A Panic attack
Is not really
An attack
Yes
Sometimes
It appears out of nowhere
Taps you on the shoulder
And you can’t breathe
But more often
It is not form of attack
No surprise army
Fighting until surrender
You’ve already surrendered
Long ago
A panic submission
Where you let the last fight
Leave you.
It slowly overtakes
Everything
Goodbye Limbs
Of whom I am no longer control
Goodbye air
You’ve been barred
From entering my soul
Goodbye World
I’m sorry to leave you
All alone
I am 34 years old, a Navy Corpsman Veteran, and a lifelong sufferer of depression and suicide ideas. i am a survivor. I live at home with my wife and our 4 children, dog, and cat named Nuisance. my oldest son is high function autistic, and the evidence is mounting that i may be as well. Please enjoy this poem i wrote for submission to NAMI in the hope that you will know, well, that you are not alone.
IN THE LAND OF SANITY
I strode to the land of humans,
through the mists of time and tide
I climbed to the place the sane people live
Through lands of the dead and blind
I walked to the edge of sanity
From the other side of fear
And I looked in the magic mirror
The people had placed over there.
“Children Play”
Children play for the new day.
Rhymes will ring in their own way.
In your old age there is youth.
So it was written in a page of a-
book, by a sage.
Writing the wise man’s quotes-
on hundred dollar notes-
Money don’t sink it floats.
As the ocean’s boats.
Underneath the rains-
The totes umbrella which feigns.
A Captain will steer by automated rote.
To where, the passengers don’t know or-
go in a circular square.
A submission for November’s Topic: Why support is important
When I think back to the days before I was diagnosed with several mental illnesses, I remember feeling so hopeless and helpless. My mind would be screaming out for help and I felt trapped. I felt trapped because my depression held my brain hostage. I remember journaling often and would write things like, “I don’t know why my life is worth living”, or “I don’t deserve to live because of all the shameful things I have done.“
Guilt and shame would override any glimpse of hope I ever had. I felt guilty that I wasn’t living at home anymore helping to support my single mother with two teenagers left in the house. I felt guilty because I would spend all my money on drinking and doing drugs. I felt shameful because I shoplifted before. I felt shameful for even thinking myself as somewhat attractive.
With all of these thoughts working against me, there wasn’t a hope left in the world for me. I thought about committing suicide often. It didn’t help that I was in a very toxic, mentally abusive relationship at the time. It also didn’t help that my mother was narcissistic and needed help of her own. Around this time, I had no emotional support. I felt I had to do something or else I was going to really hurt myself and possibly end up dead.
Hi. I have Schizoaffective disorder. I’m new here to Nami and looking for someone that can relate to me. I feel all alone and lonely. Is there anyone out there?
I had intended on writing my first story in a completely different manner, but right now I am so frustrated and angry I can’t see straight.
I am the mother of three adult sons, ages 46, 32, and 28, married to the the father of two sons, for 33 years. I live in Wisconsin, while the oldest lives in Florida with his 10-year-old daughter (my grandchild), whom I have NEVER even met. I have not seen him in 13 years.
Son #2 is living at home, doesn’t work, nor contributes toward the household financially and depending on ‘his highnesses’ mood, he might take out the garbage.
Son #3, is living with his girlfriend, works and has potential. However, he also has a nasty mean streak and if I misunderstand something, say something he thinks is stupid, etc. etc. his nose gets out of joint and all bets are off.