Out of me and my siblings I feel like the black sheep. I don’t feel like my sister or brother really love me and the reason why is because of my mental illness. Since I been battling depression in and out the hospital all my life my brother I think only came and saw me once. My sister never came and saw me. If I could go back to the day I found my sister and trade places with my brother or sister maybe they would’ve dealt with it better then me. I hate that day.
That day messed me up for the rest of my life. Maybe if my brother or sister was home that day maybe one of them would’ve found Michelle. Then they would see how I feel and how I will never forget that f*** day. It’s imprinted in my brain that day. Maybe if they would’ve watch Michelle shed her last tear maybe then they would understand me. I watched my sister she was so scared she didn’t know what was happening. That look I will never forget that 1 tear drop I can’t forget. But see my brother are sister didn’t see what me and my mom saw. They think I want to be this way? They think oh Denise just want attention. Denise got mom wrapped around her finger. Denise cut herself for attention I took overdoses for attention. They say it’s nothing wrong with Denise she just want attention. My sister say hit the blunt it’s mind over matter as she say. I wish I wasn’t so misunderstood. I wish they knew I don’t want attention! Nothing I do is for attention. I have a mental illness. I didn’t ask for this. God wanted me to be this way. It was meant for me to find my sister that day. My brother or sister don’t love me who will love a depressed girl that they think is spoil and only acting out. It hurt that my brother and sister don’t understand mental illness. And think I’m just faking it. I remember when I was in the mental hospital i called my brother he was so dry with me that really hurt my feelings. I didn’t even hear from my sister. That’s why I have said many time only people really care about me is my mom and my kids. Cause my brother and sister don’t give a f*** about me. Maybe one day when they do care I would be GONE!!!