I used to think the only way out of my sadness, was to kill myself. All my life, i could feel the sadness growing and building up inside of me. One night, when i was in sixth grade, I scratched up my hand without realizing what i was doing. My parents knew, and forced me to show them, but they didnt do anything. I was depressed and i knew it, but all i kept hearing from my parents was “oh its just hormones, you’ll grow out of it.” 

But i knew there was more to it. I knew that it wasn’t just hormones. But no one believed me. It wasn’t until the 8th grade that I was uncontrollable with my self harm. I had friends that self harmed, so that didnt help. I thought if i surrounded myself with people that knew what it felt like then i would feel normal. I was wrong. At first, my parents didnt know. And when they found out, they knew what i had used and didnt seem to want to do anything about it. I only got worse from there. I was cutting everyday, being risky, i began not to care about school, i would take medicine when i didnt need it. But it was my friend, that finally helped me. She told the counselor about a previous suicide attempt, and my parents took me to a mental hospital. I was mad at them for doing so. I felt like it was a punishment. It’s been almost a year since i was release from the hospital, and I’ve finally realized what it means to be happy. I’m in 9th grade now, and five months clean from cutting. I still have my moments when i get sad, and feel useless, but I’ve learned to control my SI urges. Ive surrounded myself with people that help me, and make me happy, and most importantly, i realized that it wasn’t that my parents didnt care, it was that they didn’t know how to help. And they weren’t punishing me when they sent me to the hospital, they were helping me. It did help, and now almost a year later, i feel greater than i have felt in years. For all of you out there, there is hope. I know it may no seem like it now, but everyone has a reason to be living. I believe in all of you, stay strong and remember that you mean something to this world.