Think Bigger
I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety since young adolescence and was later diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and substance use disorder. In my mid twenties, I attempted suicide and became an inpatient at a psychiatric hospital for 4 days. My family let my employer know, vaguely, that I had an emergency and I would return to work shortly. A week later things seemed quite normal back in the office.
About a month later, in a friendly casual setting, I disclosed the reason for my absence to a peer. The next day, I found myself in a conference room where HR informed me they knew about my mental health condition and if I did not choose to take a leave of absence, they would be forced to put me on one. I knew what they were asking was wrong, but not wanting to be terminated, I complied.
Six weeks later, I returned to an incredibly hostile environment and it seemed like my boss resented me for leaving the team during busy season. How could she not know that I was forced to take the leave by HR? How could she not know that taking that leave allowed me to attend intensive therapy without the possibility of disrupting business? How could she not know that I would ultimately be a far more productive employee because I was better able to manage stress?
Because I drew the short straw in life. Because nothing good ever happened to me. Because she was loved and I wasn’t. Even though those statements seemed to be the only logical reason for her unexplaineable behavior, I knew they were overly-simplistic. I knew if I wanted to see positive changes in my life, I had to think bigger than that.
At the same time, my boss was answering her own questions about me: How could she be so immune to her actions? Consequences are a direct result of choice and decision. Setbacks can be conquered and tamed with hard work and dedication. Mental illness is manageable now with lifestyle changes and medication. We understand gluten.
Those statements not only sound true, but sound downright profound and empowering to someone who is mentally healthy. But they, too, are overly-simplistic statements attempting to explain reality from a one-sided view. If we want to see positive changes, we have to think bigger than that.
Here’s the big thought: We’re all people. We’re all different. We all need to wear each other’s shoes or panties or whatever before answering any questions about each other.
The end.
