I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety six years ago, my freshman year of high school; I remember being told, “these are going to be the best four years of your life.” To this day, I have to disagree… High school was the worst four years of my life. I couldn’t give you a specific date or event that caused my depression to take a steep nosedive into what felt like hell — but it did, and the few years felt like a decade.

I was constantly bombarded with thoughts like, “I’m a failure, a burden. No one likes me. I don’t like me, how could anyone else? I’m alone, but I’m fine. I’m okay and I don’t need help.” I forced a smile, day in and day out until I physically couldn’t. There were countless nights I would have panic attacks and beg my mom to let me stay home the next day; I was terrified of my peers — the only friend I had was my gym teacher.

January of my sophomore year, I tried to ending my life. I tried again, and again. Until a classmate finally noticed… I remember sitting in our American History class, I couldn’t stop shaking. I was called to the office, expecting it to just be the assistant principal when I got there. But, there were school nurses and my mom was on the phone. To this day, I can hear my mom crying, asking me what I had done and why I would do that to myself. I couldn’t explain it to her in a way she would understand; I could barely explain it to myself. I was escorted to the bus and was admitted into transitions, an outpatient therapy program where I spent the next two months rehabilitating.

Recently, I went to the doctors and I was asked the routine question: “In the past two weeks, how often have you felt down, depressed, or hopeless?” I stood there for a minute and seriously considered my options: 0, 5, and 10 (0 being never and 10 being nearly everyday) and I was able to answer, with confidence, 0!

Looking back, I never thought I would feel the way I do today but I am living, breathing proof that it gets better. I have surrounded myself with positivity and I am beyond thankful for those who have been there for me since the beginning, middle, and end of that roller coaster-portion of my life.

If you are struggling with not only depression and anxiety, but any mental illness, do not be afraid to reach you. There are millions of people waiting for you with open arms; I am one of them.