I have struggled with bipolar disorder throughout my entire life. I wasn’t until a few years ago that I started to understand how the disorder affected me not just in my behavior, but also in my mind and thoughts. 

When I have what I call bipolar episodes or incidents, I feel like I have two minds within my one head. It feels like one is telling me to give in to the bipolar symptoms and one is telling me not to. Kind of like the devil and the angel. At times in my life behavior that would appear as defiance was really me struggling to fight off the devil- half of my mind. The toughest part is when the people around you can’t tell the difference. I have since learned ways to catch the bipolar before it gets that far and cope to the best of my ability. I wanted to share my thoughts because I am sure that I am not the only person who feels this kind of battle within their own mind. What helps me is getting to know myself and how my bipolar affects me as well as warning signs so it can be caught early and I can use coping skills before it becomes an issue. It really does get better.